Posts Tagged ‘worst dates’

Photo credit: Innovative Insight

I just took a trip down memory lane (in my head) and boy o’ boy have I done a lot of dating. Maybe that’s why I’m really ok with being single. I’ve seen what’s out there in my young 29 years lol. Ladies, you know those first dates where you immediately know there definitely won’t be a second one? That’s what I’m talking about. So I thought it’d be fun to do a little recap of my worst first dates. Here goes the countdown!

5. The Mixer – I don’t even remember his name but I met him while I was Downtown Newark, walking around doing a little shopping. He drove to my house to “pick me up”. When I got outside he asked me if I could drive us in his car. I think I refused (thinking how weird it was) and just decided to just drive us in my own car; since he was giving such a hard time about driving his own car. I can’t remember how the conversation was. All I remember is that he took his knife that had mayo on it and stuck it into the ketchup bottle to get the ketchup out. That was it for me. I was so grossed out and I explained to him why. I even said, “What about the next person who comes to use the ketchup? Now there’s mayo in there!” Not only did he not get how disgusting this was, he went on to explain that he did it all the time with a variety of condiments. I know this one isn’t that bad but I’m pretty particular about certain things. Let’s keep going…

4. The Cheapskate – I went to middle and high school with this guy. Years later we ran into each other at a BBQ and he asked me out. I obliged. We went to Applebee’s. I don’t know but to me Applebee’s is not overly expensive. I mean it’s not the dollar menu but it’s no five-star restaurant either. We each had one drink and shared an appetizer. That was all. He complained the whole time about the prices. Over the course of the night our waitress seemed to have disappeared and just never came back. So when we were ready to go, he jokingly suggested we dip on the bill. He told me to go ahead and I really thought he was joking. Plus I knew I wasn’t paying so I walked out. He came out shortly after. It wasn’t until we were riding home that he told me he was serious and that he really hadn’t paid the bill. He blamed it on the waitress taking too long but really he was just cheap, cheap, cheap.

3. Don’t even know what to call ‘em – I met this guy online. We live in the Internet age. I’m not ashamed to admit that! We agreed to meet up and do movies then dinner. I was 10 minutes late. Anyone who knows me knows I’m pretty much always late. I’m not saying it’s ok. I won’t even make any excuses. I’ll just say it’s something I’ve been working to improve and I’m still a work in progress 🙂 . Well … when I made it to the movie, he just couldn’t let it go. I think we might’ve missed a preview. I apologized several times but there was nothing else I could do. He just kept bringing it up the whole entire date and not jokingly. It really really bothered him. I finally had to threaten to just go home if he couldn’t stop bringing it back up. It didn’t end there, though. Then he asked to see my hands so he could check my nails for red nail polish, explaining that he hated red nail polish because it looks like blood. I passed the fingernail test but when I told him my feet were painted red, he insisted that if we continued to talk I’d have to get rid of it. Wtf? The final straw for me was when he told me, “I don’t date really really pretty girls. You know like the really pretty ones. They’re just too high maintenance and they think they’re better than me.” My reply was a goofy look and, “Well thanks a lot.” He tried to fix his statement but there was no recovery from that. He continued to ask me out several times after that, and it’s a shame because he was very attractive, but I just kept declining. Me and my average ass..

2. The drunk – This guy was a friend from my woodshop class in high school (loved woodshop). Not sure if it counts as an official date since it was high school but anyway… I want to say he was Russian but don’t quote me on that. I just remember he had a heavy accent. We made plans to go to the movies. He was older and I remember he’d just gotten his first car. So he picked me up and we took off. He’s swerving and all kinds of stuff. Halfway through the drive he whips out a flask of whiskey and asks if I want some as he turns it up. My eyes popped out of my head, thinking I was gonna die that night. I politely declined and he had the nerve to say, “Come on, you’re not gonna drink none? I see you hanging out with such n such and such n such. I thought you were cool.” Really dude? You’re going to peer pressure me like a bad scene straight out of a 90’s commercial? Ha! When we got to the movies he passed the entrance. So he backed up on Route 22. Now some of you are not familiar with NJ but let me tell you. Route 22 is not the place to be backing up. It’s a highway that I’m still scared while driving on it. Well cool or uncool, I was still sort of interested in making it to see my 18th birthday and finding out what that was like. So about 15 minutes into the movie, I said I was going to the restroom but went and called my mama to come save me instead.

1. Part-time boxer/part-time thug – I met this one at a college party. He was a boxer, cute smile, and very funny. Everyone knows I’m a sucker for the funny guy. Now that I think about it, I think this might’ve been our second date because the first one we doubled. Oh well! We went to the movies. Upon pulling in the parking lot he says, “hold on”. He reaches behind him and pulls a gun out of his pants. Now that I’ve had a little more gun experience, I think it was only a 45. Still, at that time, it was the biggest gun I’d seen. He casually says, “put this in your purse for me”. Now, most people would’ve bailed at this moment, but me being the silly person I am, I broke out in hysterical laughter. After confirming that it was real, I just found the whole scene hilarious. I think it was the way he calmly and casually asked me like he was asking me to hold his keys or his wallet or … or … or anything but a big ass gun! I didn’t even know him well enough to be asking me that. He kept saying since it was just the two of us and he was wearing a big chain, he needed the protection in case anything popped off. Plus he didn’t feel like being uncomfortable in the theater with the gun tucked in his pants. To add insult to injury, later on I found out that he’d lied about his age and he was still in high school. Well I’ll be damned.

So there you have it folks! I guess it could’ve been worse. I hope I never find out lol.

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