Posts Tagged ‘dumb questions men ask’

Having been single for the majority of my 20’s, this is a question I’ve been asked more than a lot. I’ve read other blog posts and opinions about this question to find that it offends most single women. I’ll admit, for a time I did too. Some women take that question as a suggestion that something might be wrong with them. It wasn’t until I took some serious time off from the dating scene entirely to do some self-evaluation that I realized my being offended by the question was just my insecurity shining through. I almost felt like I was under attack when a man would ask me that. Fast-forward to the present and now the question doesn’t bother me so much as confuse me. I think it’s because I have a better understanding of the question and the intent behind it. Men usually ask a woman why she’s single because of one of the following reasons:

1. They’re generally dumb and don’t think before they ask.

2. They’re just making conversation. They’re not seriously looking for a profound answer.

3. In their mind they think it’s a pickup line or compliment: “Someone as beautiful as you, how is it possible you’re still single?” (So lame, I know…)

4. They’re out of dating practice and nervous.

Fellas, it’s all about your phrasing. It’s better to be more specific and say what you actually mean. I know that most of you aren’t implying that something is wrong with the woman when you ask her that but that’s not how it translates to us. Try asking her “Are you single by choice or you just haven’t met the right person yet?” or “Is there any specific reason why you’re single?” See men don’t realize what this question does to a single woman when left open-ended like that. You are basically asking her to self reflect on the spot. She has to search inside and look for the answer to your question. In searching she’s running through all her insecurities in her head thinking, “Damn, why am I still single?” She’s also thinking that you must be picking up on some flaw of hers for you to even ask her that.

Ladies, the men who ask you that probably don’t have a clue, and simply just don’t know how to talk to a woman. Although I still don’t totally understand the question, I do know he’s usually not implying that you’re ugly, stupid, or crazy. And the reason I don’t understand the question is because I think it’s one that doesn’t require explanation. Why can’t it just be something that just is? The same way I’m the youngest child, the same way my birthmark is where it is; these things just are. No one has ever asked me why I have two freckles on my nose. They’re just there in the same way that I’m just single 🙂 .