Posts Tagged ‘benefits’

In this day and age, the twenty-first century woman is becoming more and more liberal. For decades women have fought to have equal rights as men. In 2012 a woman can do pretty much any job a man can do. They are no longer content with being stay-at-home moms and wives. In many situations today, the woman is the breadwinner; enter “Mr. Mom”. Women can vote, get an education to the highest degree, run corporations, fix cars, and more. However, that doesn’t seem to be enough.

Although taboo to think, or even say out loud, over the past three decades or so, women have elevated to an equal playing field when it comes to sex too. Men have always been allowed, and even expected, to sew their wild oats. However, the good ol’ double standard impresses upon us the belief that women should stay virgins until they are married or at least have a minimal amount of partners. Whether it is due to religion or tradition; it just is.

What society fails to notice, or maybe just fails to acknowledge, is that women have just as much of a sexual appetite as men. They think about it just as much as men do. Just like men, they discuss it in detail with their close circle of friends too.

So now we have the “sex with no strings” woman. This type of woman has been around for a while, but in recent years she has been more publicized through reality TV, video vixens, etc. Is this because women are becoming more comfortable with their sexuality or is it just the fact that sex sells? I don’t know. Either way, she’s arrived.

I am not talking about the broke scallywag chic that just gets around the hood because she has nothing better to do with her life or her coochie. I’m talking about the new age independent woman who has everything she wants and needs and can buy whatever she doesn’t. She carries herself like a lady, but behind closed doors she enjoys “gettin’ buck” (to put it plainly). Mr. Right may have not found her yet or she might just be a bachelorette by choice.

Speaking from experience, I would agree that the single life could get lonely sometimes. We all know that no amount of cash can hug you back at night, and Mr. Rabbit doesn’t compare to the real deal. So I can understand a woman wanting to get her cobwebs knocked out from time to time. The “sex with no strings” woman believes she can, like a man, have sex with a man and it be just about that. No phone call the next day is necessary.  She may even have a “friend with benefits”, but is she really happy or ok with this? Is she just telling herself she’s ok with it through justification?

What is she thinking when she finds some fresh meat she likes? Is it “I can hit it n quit it. Men do it all the time!” or is it “I don’t know if I really want to do this, but what other choice do I have at the moment? It’s not like I have a boyfriend.” I mean what is really going through her mind the next morning? Is it “Mmmm that was just what I needed! I feel refreshed!” or is it more like “I can’t believe I did that sh*t last night! What was I thinking?” I think that if it’s a one-night stand (not speaking from experience), she can probably be ok with it because she doesn’t know the guy and hopefully she’ll never have to see him again. Plus, it’s not like she’d fall in love or have a real emotional attachment to the guy the very first night. Right?

However, what about the “friend with benefits”? Does that work the same way? I would think not, because they have another relationship outside of the sex. That means not only is she going to see him outside of the bedroom, but she’ll be expected to carry on as normal. Not to mention, there is no exclusivity in most cases. So she also has to be prepared to hear him talk about and see him with other women. I believe women are territorial beings by nature. So how could that not bother her? In addition, if they’re already friends she already must hold some fond feelings for him.

Well I guess she can “offset” the friend with benefits by keeping a team or “roster” of other casual encounters. Maybe? Or does that just make her a common, casual hoe? A single guy who keeps a roster of women is just a regular ol’ single guy right?

Either way, the point I’m making is that I don’t think women are naturally built to have sex with no strings attached. Women are emotional creatures by nature. That’s why we get upset over silly stuff, have mood swings, and cry all the time. Duh! That’s why women who play “the other woman” role get caught up and end up falling for that married man. They think they have control over their emotions and the situation, but at some point they catch feelings and want more. I do, however, think a woman can probably have sex with no strings and be ok only if she doesn’t really know the man or doesn’t really like the man. Let’s be real, how many of us are going to have sex with someone we don’t like?

So I leave you with this: Is a woman really able to separate her emotions from sex with a man? If she is, is she really and truly happy with living her life having sex with no strings attached or is she simply just trying to convince her self of that for the sake of keeping up with the single man – the “anything you can do, I can do better” mentality?