Archive for the ‘What would you do?’ Category

I’m embarrassed to admit this but last year I was asked by a handful of different men if I used to be a man. I have no idea why they asked me because I don’t think I look like a man [shrugs shoulders] and my voice is definitely far from deep. The question was usually asked when I started out with, “I have something I have to tell you.” So I’m wondering if this is some kind of common occurrence or finding out a woman used to be a man is like the worst-case scenario for a man or what. Whatever the reason, it got me to thinking.

I remember posing this question to a former co-worker. We used to talk about all kinds of random stuff at work (good times). He was one of those real honest, down to earth, open types. So I asked him if he was dating a woman that was really attractive and that he’d grown to really like, would he continue dating her if he found out she’d been born a male. Surprisingly he told me he would. He said as long as everything was “done” nicely and it looked official, it wouldn’t change his feelings. She was still the same person at heart.

I wasn’t expecting that to be his answer so it got me to wondering if there were more people out there who felt the same. If you were dating someone for a while and really started falling for them, and then they told you they were born the opposite sex. They had a sex change. Would you feel betrayed or would you understand why they didn’t tell you right away? Would you be able to just switch off all of your feelings for them or would you still want them in your life? Would you be ashamed to tell anyone or would you not care?


Two things happened recently to make me think of this topic. One, I watched this scary movie on Netflix called “6 Souls”. I hate to spoil it for you if you haven’t seen it but basically it was about a man who posed as a reverend in the early 1900s; I think it was. He was acting as a reverend but in reality he was a non-believer. The town witch doctor (for lack of better words) found out and killed him then sucked his soul out, releasing it into the air. Somehow he still remained living through sucking out the souls of other people over the years. He would then take on their personalities but he still remained in his own physical body.

The second thing that happened to make me think of this topic was my recent encounter with a homeless lady. I went to a restaurant and while I waited for a friend, I went in to get change for the parking meter. This woman was in a wheelchair, unkept, and her nails and clothes were filthy but there was something about her. I can’t quite put it into words. She was waiting for her food. She smiled at me and I smiled back and asked her how she was. You would have thought no one had ever spoken to her before. Her smile widened and she just started talking to me. It was like she was excited to see me, like she knew me, like we were old friends. She didn’t ask me for anything, she just seemed extra thrilled I was talking to her. In fact, when I asked the cashier for the change for the parking meter, she enthusiastically offered me her change. I felt really comfortable talking to her too. It was like we were kindred spirits. I’ve talked to plenty of homeless people before when I used to volunteer regularly, but this was different.

This brings me to my topic. What if the spirits of our loved ones who have passed before us came back in human form? It may only be for a brief visit, just to check up on us or interact with us. What if that bum who asked you for some spare change in passing was really your old Uncle So and so? What if that strange lady on the subway who struck up a conversation with you, and who you never saw since, was really your grandmother? I know we all have our own ideas of what happens in the afterlife but the fact is that none of us can possibly know for certain unless we’ve died before. So can something like this be ruled out as a possibility? The next time a stranger tries to make small talk with you, whether they are asking for directions or talking about the weather, how will you respond? I bet a lot of us wouldn’t be so quick to brush strangers off if we thought they could possibly be housing the spirit of a loved one.

slave2Normally I don’t get caught up in the hype. I’m not usually a bandwagon person. However, I have to admit, the verdict in the Zimmerman trial struck a nerve in me like I’ve never felt before. I still can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think it’s because of everyone’s reaction. True colors were really shown. I even found myself having emotional outbursts, venting my frustrations on Facebook like others. I understand that the ground is split on whether this case had anything to do with race or not. Whether you believe it did or didn’t, you can’t deny the fact that it certainly stirred up a lot of racial tension. As I watched the news online, anchors going at it, people online going at it, and so on, it triggered a lot of deep thoughts for me.

I’ve seen posts on Facebook where people are deleting “friends” because they now view them as racist based on their comments regarding the case. The posts I’m seeing most are about technicalities and the law; the law, the law, the law. This is where my train of thoughts has landed and sort of dwelled the past few days. I’m looking at how this one case is tearing so many people apart. You think you know a person, then something like this forces their hand and they say things you’ve never would’ve imagined. So I ask, what if we woke up tomorrow and the slavery of black people was legal? Suppose a law was passed across the country where blacks were no longer allowed to be free? What would happen?

slaveTo the black people whose solution to the Zimmerman case was to hold peaceful rallies and pray about it, would you also hold peaceful rallies and pray if someone kicked down your door right now and shackled you up? To the black people whose solution was to riot, would you riot in your own little slave courters and tear up all of your stuff? To any of the people (black or other) who said this trial wasn’t about race, would you say the same and turn a blind eye once the law was announced that slavery of blacks was legal? To the black people whose answer was violence and to fight back, would you fight back against your slave master? Would you even be ready for that type of fight? Would you have an organized strategy ready or would you just go down, guns blazing like in some Al Pacino movie you’ve watched? To all the non-blacks so ready and willing to hold hands and stand alongside of blacks, ready to help, would you do the same if slavery became legal? Would you harbor a black runaway, knowing it was against the law, and you could be punished by said law?

By now, a lot of you may be saying, “What does one have to do with the other?” “That’s a dramatic comparison.” “That would never happen anyway.” Well, I’m not really making a comparison. All I’m saying is yesterday it was Emmett Till, today Trayvon Martin; we really can’t predict who or what will happen tomorrow. Can we? To anyone who thinks that it can’t happen in this day and age, you may want to think again. We, as black people, are a very trusting people for some reason. Despite how media portrays us, we are also a very peaceful people. Half of us are busy watching reality TV and shaking our booties to whatever mindless music is hot today. The other half of us are putting our every effort into being equal to and accepted by others, either wasting money on material possessions or running away from being black in any way we can. It is not until something tragic like this happens that we are snapped back into reality and reminded of our position here in this country, in this world really. Therefore, I don’t think it would be that easy for us to be blind-sighted, caught totally off guard and unprepared if slavery was to be reinstituted tomorrow. No, I am not trying to stir up some race war. It just seems like it always takes something extreme for people to show who they really are. I just feel like black people have been doing the same things for so long, receiving the same results. My question to all of you (black, white, red, yellow, whatever) is what would you do?

gayThis post will be a short one because I don’t have a lot to say on the topic. I’m more so interested in the thoughts and opinions of others. Recently I have either come into direct contact or have heard stories of reformed homosexuals. I have talked to and/or heard about both males and females who were once gay but now say they aren’t anymore. In my mind, it is hard for me to comprehend how this might work. This is one of the reasons I am writing this post. I hope to gain some perspective from readers and possibly get a better understanding.

Let me say that I do wholeheartedly believe that a lot of homosexuality of today’s world is a trend, a fad. Yes, I really do believe that. Of course I know that there are real, true homosexuals and it is my belief that they are born this way. However, I also believe in the current year of 2013 it has turned into something else. The power of suggestion amongst many many other factors has reared its head. So I can see how someone who isn’t a true homosexual can end up living a homosexual life (if that makes sense). My question is how do you reverse that though? It just seems like such a permanent decision that would be hard to reverse, particularly for men.

I’ve talked to some people about it, some who are going through the transition and some who know people close to them who are. Basically, they told me the same thing. Homosexuality is like any other demon (i.e. alcoholism, lust, jealousy) and if you pray on it hard enough and really want it, God will remove those demons from you. That sounds good but it makes me think of something I once heard a preacher say. He was openly mocking the congregation saying how people love to testify that they use to be an alcoholic but God removed the taste from their mouth. He went on to say that after 30+ years of being saved and being a pastor, he still gets the taste for alcohol and that people who testify to the contrary are just lying to themselves and the congregation. He said what it is, is that God gives him the discipline and willpower to say no to those things, but the taste and the temptation is still ever present. I would have to say I agree with him on that. So getting back to the subject at hand, can you really pray away your homosexuality or is it just that you have the willpower to fight that temptation? And if the desire is still there and you’re just fighting it, can you really say you’re not a homosexual anymore?

Lastly, I have one final question on this. This is for the ladies. Would you date a man who says he used to be a homosexual? I’m not talking about Raheem who just did a 10 –year bid in the federal penitentiary. That’s a whole ‘nother issue which requires deeper levels of discussion. I am talking about the average Joe who at one point was openly gay. Somewhere along the way he got religious (or whatever caused the change), and decided he wasn’t going to be a homosexual anymore. Ladies, would you date this man? I am asking the ladies because I assume I already know the answers of the fellas posed with the same question regarding a reformed lesbian. With the shortage of men out here, I really want to know if a woman would date a reformed homosexual male. Feel free to comment! 

“What Would You Do?”

Right is wrong and wrong is right

No room for grey, it’s black and white

Morals bounced on a first class flight

Honesty left, caught the red eye overnight

So what would you do? Ahh the conscience’s plight

Bickery, trickery, charms and deceit

Mr. Wendal needs a dollar but you ain’t beat

Old lady hops on the bus, do you give up your seat?

Nah you stare straight ahead like you don’t see

What you would do is crystal clear to me

Peeping, sneaking, and creeping around

Saw what you shouldn’t but don’t make a sound

Pretend like you wouldn’t but you know you’d be down

To play hopscotch on the devil’s playground

Giving your word as bond but you ain’t bound

You take a yard when given an inch

Stealing a pound when offered a pinch

Not a second thought, not even a flinch

Helping yourself like a modern day Grinch

What wouldn’t you do to have that thirst quenched?

The mind flip-flops playing tricks

Better judgment walks and temptation sits

Good and evil reps go lick for lick

Nice guys finish last and take the hits

What will you do? Flush the Kool-Aid or take a sip?

People always claim to be so honest, but are we really? I’ve never had this particular situation happen to me, but it has happened in reverse. I was at Target and I mistakenly gave the cashier an extra twenty-dollar bill without even realizing it. She could have easily just given me my change and pocketed the extra money because I clearly wasn’t paying attention, but she didn’t. She handed the extra twenty back to me and I was grateful.

It got me to wondering though. What if roles were reversed? What if she had given me too much change back? Would I have told her or would I have kept the extra money? It’s an automatic that I would keep money that I find on the ground and the owner is long gone, but would I keep money that I know was mistakenly given to me?

The truth is I have no idea. Yes, I’d like to think I would be honest and give the money back. The reality is, though, that no one really knows what he/she would do in a given situation until they’re actually in it. My personal opinion (based on absolutely nothing but my thoughts lol) is that fifty percent of people would return the money and the other fifty percent would consider it their lucky day. What would you do?

If we had our choice, most of us would try to avoid being caught in sticky situations especially on the job. However, sometimes it just can’t be avoided. You may just be whipping up a little peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the break room or taking a trip to the lavatory and find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes people just put you in situations that, otherwise, you’d have absolutely nothing to do with. This has happened to me quite a few times at different jobs.

I want to focus on one particular incident though. Let me set the stage. I’m at work and a group of us are undergoing training, as we are all new hires. For this particular exercise we were working on, some of us were paired up with partners and some of us working alone. I was one of the loners (that’s nothing new lol). Directly in the cube in front of me is a pair of ladies working together. Now those of you who have worked in an office know how thin cubicle walls are. The sound barrier is non-existent. As a result I can hear everything they are saying to each other. Working together isn’t always easy. Working together with someone who knows everything is even more of a challenge. I could start to hear them get into a heated debate. Because they were so loud though it did sound like an outright argument. I could hear word for word what was being said. Lady A was clearly wrong and Lady B was correct. Long story short, they got so loud that the trainers had to run over and interject on the heated discussion. They presented their dilemma and the trainer confirmed that what Lady B was saying was correct. At this point Lady A then decides to change her whole story and flips the script saying that what had been confirmed as correct is what she was saying all along.

As if lying wasn’t bad enough, the story gets worse. Later that afternoon, Lady A, the trainer, another trainee, and me were sitting together in a room. Lady B and the rest of the group weren’t around. They all start to recap the heated discussion from earlier. I sit there quietly. Lady A still kept maintaining that she was correct the whole time by lying about what she had said and insisting that Lady B had said something other than what she really had. She took it a step further and said, “Well you know what I think it is with Lady B? She’s a little ghetto.” My eyes popped open and my jaw dropped. Not only was this unprofessional but I thought a little inappropriate given Lady B wasn’t even there to defend herself and we were all new to the company.

That’s when it happened. The trainer says to me, “Jewel, you were right next to them. I know you heard everything. What really happened?” Part of me felt so bad that Lady B was being thrown under the bus and her name slandered when she wasn’t even the one that was wrong. I wanted to defend her name in her absence. The other part of me wanted to stay free and clear of the drama and mind my business. I chose the latter responding, “My name is Bennett and I ain’t in it.”

So once again I ask: What would you do? Would you go to bat for your poor coworker or would you mind your business and allow another coworker to throw him/her under the bus right in front of you? Would it eat you up inside knowing only one side of the story (the false version at that) was being told or could you go about your day with a clear conscience knowing that work is work and you have nothing to do with the situation?