Archive for September, 2013

Recently I was talking to a male friend, and he repeated a conversation to me that he had with another male friend of his about picking up women. We shared a nice little laugh about some of the worst things that men say on a date or when they first meet a woman. I told him about the guy who told me on our first date, “I don’t date really pretty women or women that wear red nail polish.” Needless to say, that date was short. Then I told him about the guy who spent a good 15 minutes telling me how much he loved sex and how great in bed he was. That’s when my friend stopped me in the conversation and said, “No, believe it or not, that actually works!”

He went on to tell me how he witnessed, firsthand, his friend telling a woman how much he loved sex and how great he was in bed upon initially meeting her. She then went home with him that night. Now, I know some of you may be thinking that maybe she was just easy and who knows. Maybe she was. Judgment aside, I’m asking all my ladies your opinion on this. When you meet a man for the first time or are on the first date and he expresses his love for sex and the talents he possesses in that area, does that really peak your interest? Is this a turn-on to you? Also, to men and women what is something a person has said to you on a first date that immediately turned you off? What was something that turned you on?

I will start off by saying that I have a lot of mixed views and unconventional ideas about marriage, dating, sex, and love that kind of go against the grain. So it’s no surprise that the same goes for my views on monogamy. I do view sex as a special, wonderful, serious, and spiritual experience that isn’t to be taken lightly. And there is where I will try to leave my opinions on this one. I’m more interested in the opinions of others on this topic.

Everyone wants that special someone to build that exclusive relationship with, and falling in love is beautiful. Then comes marriage and commitments are made to one another promising that each party will only be with that one other person for the rest of their life. Just stop and think about that for a minute, the rest of their life. I’m sure at the time the vows are being swapped it seems like the most romantic and beautiful idea. But is it just that? Just an idea? The rest of your life is a really long time (hopefully).

I know so many people who have thought of cheating on their significant other and so so many more who have acted on it. It doesn’t mean they love their partner any less. Majority of the time it has absolutely nothing to do with their partner. With such a large amount of people who cheat, doesn’t that say something about the idea of monogamy? Or are these people just immoral weaklings who can’t keep it in their pants? The simple fact is that it is natural to be attracted to more than one person at a time. Even beyond sex, think about every person who is close to you. I’m sure you have a unique bond with each person that differs from the next. Can you imagine say your best friend saying he/she didn’t want you hanging out with your sister anymore because you could only be friends with him/her only? Sounds ridiculous right? You share a different type of bond with your sibling than with your best friend. So why is sex so different? Why do people really rely on exclusivity?

I am in no way suggesting folks just start getting buck wild and sexing anything walking. I am also not speaking from an aspect of transferring STDs and things of that nature. Obviously you don’t want to put your health at risk. I am strictly talking about the idea that there should only be one man for one woman for eternity. For centuries we have tried our hands at monogamy and obviously it’s not working. Otherwise so many people wouldn’t be running around cheating. So why do people still continue to pretend or really convince themselves that monogamy is what’s true and right? Please don’t tell me something from the bible either. I’m looking for a better reason than someone wrote it in a book that it should be this way (no offense to anyone). Besides, the church is one of the main places where adulterers meet. And just for argument’s sake, even if no one cheats in the relationship but say the desires are still there. Suppose there is something lacking that their partner just cannot give them, even if it’s on another level other than sex, how much sense does it make for that person to continue living in an unfulfilled relationship or even an unhappy one? Should people be deprived of their true and natural desires just for the sake of doing what is “right”? Thoughts, anyone?