Happy Father’s Day Mom?

Posted: June 20, 2013 in Parental Relationships
Tags: ,

It’s funny. Growing up I never really knew when Father’s Day was. Since my father was absent, there really wasn’t any reason to take note of the day I guess. Also, many of my friends didn’t have fathers in their lives either. So I guess you can say I was just sort of oblivious to the day. Even still as an adult I never even realize Father’s Day is coming up until it’s here. Usually I find out online, which brings me to this week’s blog post. It wasn’t until I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed this past Sunday that I realized it was Father’s Day. I kept seeing a lot of similar posts. Some were genuinely wishing fathers a happy Father’s Day but more were wishing single mothers a happy Father’s Day.

I understand that there are a lot of single mothers out there doing it all on their own due to dead beat dads. Of course there are the exceptions like the death of a father or something like that. However, for the most part the fathers are just dead beats. I don’t have any children but I understand it’s hard. One of the many reasons (and there are so many) I don’t have any children is because I would never want to be a single mother. With that being said, it doesn’t matter how hard it is. Just because the father is M.I.A. doesn’t automatically turn the mother into a father. Even my own mother has used that expression “I’ve had to be a mother and a father”, but it’s just not so. No woman can ever be a father, and mothers need to realize this.

I thought I was alone with this opinion until my friend sent me this video. I like how she mentions that when women are patting themselves on the back for playing the father, they are just putting themselves on display for all to know the poor choices they’ve made in men. I also love how she keeps repeating the word man. Ladies, you will never be men and therefore cannot be a father. I’m not bashing single mothers either. Some of you knew the low lives you were dealing with when you decided to have his baby but some of you truly didn’t. But like she says in the video, you have your day. It’s called Mother’s Day. Please stop lying to yourselves by saying you are playing both roles. You can never play both roles because you are not a man! Yes, it’s unfortunate but it just is. A mother can never teach her children things from a perspective of a man because…..SHE’S NOT A MAN!

I just want to point out one more thing before I leave this post. I would say in the past 2-3 decades single motherhood has become popular, especially with black women. It’s damn near expected these days. To all you single mothers, I just want to say look at the state of our black youth today. So many are in jail, dancing in strip clubs, single parents themselves, on drugs, dropouts, gay/lesbians, etc. No, I’m not saying it’s the mother’s fault at all. I’m just saying that this should tell you that something is missing from single motherhood. It’s called the real father. So while you single mothers may be doing your best, and your best may be awesome, you are not a father. Please stop convincing yourselves that you are.


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