Woman Thou Art Thirsty: 5 Ways To Know If You Are

Posted: March 6, 2013 in Single Ladies
Tags: , ,

thirstIf you’ve been keeping up with this blog, you’ve probably gathered by now that I have a nice amount of male friends. So if it seems like I go in on females more, it’s not that. It’s just that I have more access to the male perspective than the female perspective on things (outside of my own perspective that is). Plus it’s always fun to hear things and learn about situations from the male’s point of view.

One of my favorite topics to talk to men about is the female thirst. I always get a good laugh out of these conversations because I’m always shocked and surprised about just how forward, desperate, and straight thirsty females can be. I mean when it comes to men, we kind of expect a certain level of thirst. Sorry guys, but it’s true. When a female does it it’s an embarrassment to the entire gender and just plain sad. There’s nothing wrong with flirting but when you blatantly throw yourself at a man or do unnecessary things to get his attention it just looks bad.

I was talking to my friend last night and he told me about a woman at his school who was throwing herself at him in front of a whole group of people, no shame. He made a good point too. He said with the amount of attention females get from men trying to talk to them, push up, etc. there really is no reason why a female should have to do that. Now I understand there is a small group of men who like aggressive women who aren’t afraid to say what they want. But where do you cross the line of being a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it and just being straight thirsty? Ladies, there is a way to be subtle about it. You can reel in what/who you want without panting and drooling like a lap dog for the public to see. Over the past few weeks, I’ve taken notes from my male friends’ experiences and have witnessed the thirst of females live and in action for myself in different settings. Following is a short list of ways to identify if you have crossed the line of thirst as a woman:

  1. The Loud Girl: The loud girl in the group, I just want to chuck something at the back of her head personally. This happens when you’re out with your girls and you’ve spotted a pack of guys or maybe just one in particular. For some reason you feel the need to automatically adjust your voice level to super loud. You talk over all the rest of your friends. You talk unnecessarily with a lot of hand and neck movement hoping you will be noticed. And yes, you will be noticed but you should know that men run from women like you. Loud girl in the group translates to: “That bitch loud as hell. I can’t holler at her. She obviously requires too much attention, she talks too much, and will probably tell all our business.” Hey loud girl! Sit down somewhere and shut up Ms. Thirsty!
  2. Grabby hands: There is still hope for you. You are the woman who sees what she wants and is all over it immediately. You do the flirtatious tap n’ laugh. That is when you giggle at what he’s saying to you (even if it wasn’t funny) and find a reason to playfully tap the arm or chest area to low-key cop a feel. You physically hover and hang all over the man you want. You ask for hugs out of the blue for no apparent reason. You may ask inappropriate questions like: “Wow look at your arms. Can I touch?” or “Let me see your stomach”. Some of you are bold and will just go ahead and grab a cheek (not the one on the face either) if you’ve had enough to drink. While you have a better chance than the loud girl, you still ooze thirst from the pores. And you may get what/who you want but it will probably be just for that night.
  3. The Volunteer: You are the one who takes jokes too literal and too far. In some type of social setting a guy may say something that is sexual or just plain dumb jokingly or hypothetically and you are the one who responds like this: “Shoot don’t say that cause I’ll really do it” or “Dare me to?” You may also be an attention seeker. It’s like you’re a child all over again and the teacher asks a question. You’re in the front of the class where she can clearly see you raising your hand high and eagerly. Yet, you feel the need to whisper out with your mouth and heart “Pick me! Pick me!” You are willing to do whatever it takes to get a man’s attention once you’ve set your mind to it. You think men see you as real or daring. In actuality they just see you as dumb, thirsty, and possibly even desperate.
  4. The Questionnaire: You’re not actually that bad. You just don’t know how to tell when a man’s just not that into you. You are the one who asks a million and one questions to a man as an attempt to keep him engaged. He gives you short, evasive answers trying to give you the brush off politely. You may ask him something and his answer is “huh?” because he’s tuned you out and his sights are already elsewhere. Yet you continue to try to keep the conversation alive to show how interesting you can be. Know when to stop and just accept you may not always get the prize your eye is on. Once you’ve asked that 20th question, and not taken the hint that he’s not interested, you have now entered into ThirstLand and you also become annoying.
  5. Facebook Stalker: You’re kind of lame. You actually get excited when you’ve found your prey on Facebook. You are a different level of thirst. It’s one thing to be thirsty in person, at the initial meeting. It’s different to then take that thirst home with you and continue on from behind your computer screen. You look at every picture on their profile. You like a whole bunch of them. You try to analyze and figure out who’s who in their life by going to their friends’ pages. You like and/or comment on every single status update they post. You send private messages to them every time you see them online. You may ask them personal questions about their life in an attempt to dig deeper. When they respond with short, one-word answers or they don’t respond at all, you still continue with the questioning.

Well I could keep going but this post would be too long. Perhaps I will do a part two one day, but I think you get the idea. If you fit any of the above criteria, you may want to rethink your thirst level. And remember, this is not just my opinion. This list was compiled from the experiences of real, live men as well. Just something for you to think about…

  1. Sadle says:

    I enjoyed this post a great deal. Thanks!

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