Archive for March, 2013

drugsI’m sure we all remember the D.A.R.E. program that hit schools across the nation in the 90’s. Kids everywhere were wearing the T-shirts. I remember going through the course in school and having policemen come and talk to us about drugs. We studied each drug one by one and its effects on the human body, and by the end I was convinced that drugs really did fry your brains just like the commercials said.

This topic is one a friend posed to me. “What makes a person take that first hit?” is what he said to me. I thought to myself, “That’s a good question.” So that’s what I want to talk about. What makes a person try drugs that very first time? Sure, back in the day there may not have been as much public knowledge about the effects of drugs, but in this day and age – the information age? People have to know the damage drugs cause on the mind, body, spirit, and life in general. So knowing that you can become dependent on it, knowing certain drugs literally burn holes in your brain, knowing the financial toll it will take on your life after while, knowing the hurt it will cause the people around you, knowing you can overdose what would make a person still try it for the first time?

I understand that a lot of drug addicts start as kids and it stems from curiosity or peer pressure, but what about adults who start using drugs? What is their reason? Is it also peer pressure? Is it curiosity? You just want to know how it feels. Is it depression or stress? Is it for sexual performance enhancement? I mean you can kid yourself by saying the drugs are new or different in 2013 but we all know the truth. There’s nothing new under the sun. New drugs are just new forms of or renamed old drugs. I’m not going to sit here and split hairs either and get into specifics about which drugs. I mean real drugs in general, man-made or man-enhanced drugs/chemicals. Knowing everything there is to know today what makes a person decide to try it anyway?

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sex machineWhen you hear the term “sex machine” you probably think it’s a good thing. You may be thinking this individual is one who has a lot of sex or maybe has great stamina allowing them to have sex for long periods of time. This was before someone invented an actual sex machine of course. I have a slightly different definition of the sex machine. Ok, actually my definition is completely different. The sex machine is a man who is super bland in the bedroom. He is mechanical in his approach to sex and therefore, a machine. He has no bag of tricks and brings little to no variation into the bedroom. It doesn’t matter if she is big, small, short, or tall. It doesn’t matter if it’s Christina, Rasheeda, Linda, or Susie. The way in which he chooses to sex each one will always be the same, robotic.

He doesn’t see sex with each woman as a different experience. He sees it as a robotic or mechanical task, and approaches it the same way each time. He never takes time to ask her questions to find out what she likes or doesn’t like. He assumes all women like the same thing when it comes to sex. He believes that whatever works for one will work for the other. Or he may not even be thinking of the woman at all. He may only be thinking of himself. His own satisfaction is all that matters and so each time he will do whatever is a sure shot to achieve his own satisfaction. So I ask, might you be a sex machine sir? Unsure? Well below are three simple ways to find out:

  1. Have all of your sexual encounters been choreographed? Think about it. What is a choreographed dance? It’s a routine. It’s the same steps that can be done over and over. The sex machine is known for doing this with his sex routine, whether it’s intentional or not. If you have set sexual positions that you do every single time with little variations, then you probably are a sex machine. Unless your partner(s) is a sex machine too, it is quite possible she may become bored with you. Don’t be afraid to go crack open the Kama Sutra and try something different. And if you care even a little at all about whether she is satisfied or not, don’t be afraid to ask her what she wants to try or what gets her going. Don’t be selfish and assume that just because your same 3 lame sex positions get you off that they’re satisfying her as well.
  2. Have you ever left the bedroom? If the answer to this is no, then you may very well be a sex machine. In the bed, in the bedroom is the most obvious place to have sex. It is also the most traditional/common/BORRRRRINGGG!!! I’m not saying you need to go get it in on the top of the Empire State Building or anything but having sex in the same place every single time is like eating the same exact thing for dinner every single night. It gets mundane after a while. Sex machines have little to no imagination so it’s hard for you to think outside of the bedroom. I know. The key again is to switch up the repetitive routine. You’d be surprised how having sex somewhere new or somewhere you’re not supposed to will turn your lady on.
  3. Are you easily fooled by theatrics? Simply put, can you tell when a woman is faking it? This is important because guys, we are really good at it. The sex machine either doesn’t know or he does know but doesn’t care because the fake moans and groans are just fake mechanical noises that aid in this whole robotic experience. Fellas, if your lady’s moans are too loud or they don’t even match her facial expressions, then it’s quite possible she’s faking it. If you know you’re not putting in that much work and she’s loud enough for the neighbors to hear, she’s probably faking it. If you suddenly stop and the moans automatically shut off, then she’s definitely faking it. Your mechanical sex moves have become an automatic on/off switch for her fake, mechanical moaning. It works the same way if she’s just lying there not saying anything while you’re busy plowing away. What this means is that you have become so predictable in your mechanical maneuvers that she knows in her head if she can just lay there long enough for you to get through mechanical moves “A”, “B”, and “C” then the whole charade will soon all be over.

So fellas, the next time you’re referred to as a sex machine you may want to think twice about it. If you fall into any of the categories I just described above, being called a “sex machine” may not be the compliment you think it is.

thirstIf you’ve been keeping up with this blog, you’ve probably gathered by now that I have a nice amount of male friends. So if it seems like I go in on females more, it’s not that. It’s just that I have more access to the male perspective than the female perspective on things (outside of my own perspective that is). Plus it’s always fun to hear things and learn about situations from the male’s point of view.

One of my favorite topics to talk to men about is the female thirst. I always get a good laugh out of these conversations because I’m always shocked and surprised about just how forward, desperate, and straight thirsty females can be. I mean when it comes to men, we kind of expect a certain level of thirst. Sorry guys, but it’s true. When a female does it it’s an embarrassment to the entire gender and just plain sad. There’s nothing wrong with flirting but when you blatantly throw yourself at a man or do unnecessary things to get his attention it just looks bad.

I was talking to my friend last night and he told me about a woman at his school who was throwing herself at him in front of a whole group of people, no shame. He made a good point too. He said with the amount of attention females get from men trying to talk to them, push up, etc. there really is no reason why a female should have to do that. Now I understand there is a small group of men who like aggressive women who aren’t afraid to say what they want. But where do you cross the line of being a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it and just being straight thirsty? Ladies, there is a way to be subtle about it. You can reel in what/who you want without panting and drooling like a lap dog for the public to see. Over the past few weeks, I’ve taken notes from my male friends’ experiences and have witnessed the thirst of females live and in action for myself in different settings. Following is a short list of ways to identify if you have crossed the line of thirst as a woman:

  1. The Loud Girl: The loud girl in the group, I just want to chuck something at the back of her head personally. This happens when you’re out with your girls and you’ve spotted a pack of guys or maybe just one in particular. For some reason you feel the need to automatically adjust your voice level to super loud. You talk over all the rest of your friends. You talk unnecessarily with a lot of hand and neck movement hoping you will be noticed. And yes, you will be noticed but you should know that men run from women like you. Loud girl in the group translates to: “That bitch loud as hell. I can’t holler at her. She obviously requires too much attention, she talks too much, and will probably tell all our business.” Hey loud girl! Sit down somewhere and shut up Ms. Thirsty!
  2. Grabby hands: There is still hope for you. You are the woman who sees what she wants and is all over it immediately. You do the flirtatious tap n’ laugh. That is when you giggle at what he’s saying to you (even if it wasn’t funny) and find a reason to playfully tap the arm or chest area to low-key cop a feel. You physically hover and hang all over the man you want. You ask for hugs out of the blue for no apparent reason. You may ask inappropriate questions like: “Wow look at your arms. Can I touch?” or “Let me see your stomach”. Some of you are bold and will just go ahead and grab a cheek (not the one on the face either) if you’ve had enough to drink. While you have a better chance than the loud girl, you still ooze thirst from the pores. And you may get what/who you want but it will probably be just for that night.
  3. The Volunteer: You are the one who takes jokes too literal and too far. In some type of social setting a guy may say something that is sexual or just plain dumb jokingly or hypothetically and you are the one who responds like this: “Shoot don’t say that cause I’ll really do it” or “Dare me to?” You may also be an attention seeker. It’s like you’re a child all over again and the teacher asks a question. You’re in the front of the class where she can clearly see you raising your hand high and eagerly. Yet, you feel the need to whisper out with your mouth and heart “Pick me! Pick me!” You are willing to do whatever it takes to get a man’s attention once you’ve set your mind to it. You think men see you as real or daring. In actuality they just see you as dumb, thirsty, and possibly even desperate.
  4. The Questionnaire: You’re not actually that bad. You just don’t know how to tell when a man’s just not that into you. You are the one who asks a million and one questions to a man as an attempt to keep him engaged. He gives you short, evasive answers trying to give you the brush off politely. You may ask him something and his answer is “huh?” because he’s tuned you out and his sights are already elsewhere. Yet you continue to try to keep the conversation alive to show how interesting you can be. Know when to stop and just accept you may not always get the prize your eye is on. Once you’ve asked that 20th question, and not taken the hint that he’s not interested, you have now entered into ThirstLand and you also become annoying.
  5. Facebook Stalker: You’re kind of lame. You actually get excited when you’ve found your prey on Facebook. You are a different level of thirst. It’s one thing to be thirsty in person, at the initial meeting. It’s different to then take that thirst home with you and continue on from behind your computer screen. You look at every picture on their profile. You like a whole bunch of them. You try to analyze and figure out who’s who in their life by going to their friends’ pages. You like and/or comment on every single status update they post. You send private messages to them every time you see them online. You may ask them personal questions about their life in an attempt to dig deeper. When they respond with short, one-word answers or they don’t respond at all, you still continue with the questioning.

Well I could keep going but this post would be too long. Perhaps I will do a part two one day, but I think you get the idea. If you fit any of the above criteria, you may want to rethink your thirst level. And remember, this is not just my opinion. This list was compiled from the experiences of real, live men as well. Just something for you to think about…