What Age is the “Right Age” to Settle Down?

Posted: January 3, 2013 in Single Ladies
Tags: , ,

So I’m at that age. You know, where 30 is lurking right around the corner waiting to jump out and grab me from the dark shadows. Lol okay so maybe that sounds a little dramatic but that’s the way people make it seem. I know I already touched on this subject a little a few months back with my “Before I Settle Down” poem but I thought I’d blog about it to see what people out there really think.

Usually people think I’m younger than what I really am. When I tell them my real age, two questions immediately follow like clockwork: 1. Are you married? 2. Do you have any kids? When I answer “no” the next question is always “Why not?” Men are particularly funny when they ask me why not because it’s almost like they demand an answer as to why in the world would I be single without kids. They give me this look like they’re trying to figure out what’s wrong with me lol. I actually had a 40 year old single woman (with no kids) tell me last year that I needed to find a boyfriend and marry him by the time I turned 30 because after that I wouldn’t have any options. I burst out laughing until I realized she was extremely serious.

I’m always puzzled and never really know how to answer the “why not?” question. I guess I never thought it was a question that required an answer the way people make it seem. So I’ve thought it over and the answer I’ve come up with is “I am not married and I have no kids because I don’t want to. And I don’t want to because I’m not ready.” There, the answer is very simple.

There are certain things I think a wife and a mother should be prepared to commit to. It is a change of lifestyle. I don’t care how young the mothers of today want to act, it is my belief that there are some ways of life you need to give up and/or change when you take that step into marriage and children. At this point in my life, I know I’m not ready to make those changes. I like my life the way it is. It may sound selfish but I don’t think it is. What I think is selfish is that wife who doesn’t want to cook or clean for her husband because she took on that role without knowing her responsibility to that role. I think it’s selfish for that mother to dump her kids off with the sitter every weekend to hit the club because she accepted the motherhood role before she was ready to make the motherhood sacrifices.

So why is 30 the magic number? I mean it’s 2013, not 1913! Times have changed. There are other things that women want to do with their lives outside of being a wife and mother. I’m not knocking being a wife and mother. I think creating/building a family is a beautiful thing. I just think that people should do what they want to do when they want to do it, not what and when everyone else is doing it or telling them they should be doing it. In fact, most of my friends are settled down with children and I respect their decisions and am happy for them. Why? Because it’s what they wanted to do! Why is it so hard for people to respect my decisions?

I’m just so sick of seeing women scrambling, and trying to make me scramble like them, to hurry and get married because they feel like their life will be over after 30 or something. I understand the whole biological clock is ticking thing but there are women having kids well into their 40’s these days. Can’t say I’ll be one of those women lol but my point is just live your life how you want to live it. I know I am!

In conclusion, I’d just like to know from the readers what age do you think is the right age to settle down? Do you think there should be an age cap on when women should stop having children? Lastly, in 2013, why do you think women still feel the need to and pressure themselves into “having it all” by 30?

  1. Anonymous says:

    I agree. No matter your age, take the time to enjoy EACH moment. I don’t think it’s a selfish attitude at all. Quite the opposite. The potential for husbands, wives, and children will be around for a long time. It’s not uncommon for one to have multiple marriages and children.


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