Archive for December, 2012


Posted: December 31, 2012 in Uncategorized
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“Forget the past, for it is gone from your domain! Forget the future, for it is beyond your reach! Control the present! Live supremely well now! It will whitewash the dark past, and compel the future to be bright! This is the way of the wise.” – Paramahansa Yogananda.

This has become one of my favorite quotes. It’s so simple yet makes so much sense. I think a lot of times it is so hard for us to let go of the past. Past hurt or betrayal, mistakes, misfortune, missed opportunities; they all stalk us. We want to move forward but we carry so much guilt, shame, sadness, or anger from things we cannot change. It is the same for the future. We are so concerned with and focused on what we want to accomplish tomorrow. We stay so busy planning, planning, planning for days and years that aren’t even here yet, that we forget about the NOW. We totally miss living to the fullest TODAY, which brings me to the point of this post.

As we move into a new year, many will make New Year’s resolutions. I never understand this. I mean I understand wanting to make changes in your life but I never understand why everyone waits until January 1st to do it. We have 365 days in a year to start making the changes we want to see in our lives. Each day is a new day. Each hour is a new hour. If you want to work out more or lose some weight, why say “Yeah, I’m gonna just relax now because come January my New Year’s resolution is to lose weight”? Instead why not just start today, right now? You could just as easily get up and take a short walk around the block, burn a few calories, and be that much closer to losing the weight you want to lose. There is always something you can do today to get you closer to your goals of change.

In most cases, by the end of February, most people haven’t even stuck to their resolutions anyway. Then it just becomes, “oh well, I tried but….”. So what happens next? You just wait until January 1st rolls around again to “start over”? No, you pick up right where you left off whether it be on February 19th or October 3rd! My point is, don’t be so concerned with what you’re going to do tomorrow when tomorrow isn’t even promised. By the time New Years comes around you might’ve smoked one cigarette too many already. So why not just try to quit now. At least give it a shot!

Planning for the future is great and it’s obviously important but you can plan and plan for something tomorrow while the fact is, you don’t know what tomorrow holds for you. Things don’t always go exactly how you plan them to. What you can do is starting living in the NOW. It’s here. It’s tangible. You can make changes, live well, and start being the person you want to be TODAY. Most look at January 1st as their “new beginning”. January 1st is just a day chosen to mark the beginning of a calendar year so that we can measure days and time. It doesn’t mark the beginning of your “new life”. Every day is a new day. Every hour, every minute is your chance to start something new. So instead of wishing you a Happy New Year, I’m going to wish you all a Happy New Day 🙂 !


Mind boggled, brain juggling

Thoughts whirl, emotions bubbling

Body tired, tongue hustling

Mixed feelings, intentions tussling


This is the disarray that is I,

breaking on down by and by


Endless list of things for which to fret

Take your pick and place your bet

Which straw will break the camel’s back?

Ups and downs govern this and that


No control over this life belonging to me,

least that is the way it seems


Head above water, just to my chin

Expecting to lose, no hope to win

Realism fighting optimistic faith

Pessimism champs and steals first place


The chips they always seem to fall,

and bad luck’s a never-ending haul


If I didn’t know any better,

I’d think we were all one-eyed creatures

‘Cause we only catch one half,

of the movie being featured

The dark, the dank, what’s bad and wrong

The blues are the lyrics which grace our songs


We play hide and seek with all that’s going well

Things we should be thankful for, our lips will never tell


Why would we when it’s way more fun

to complain and sulk and pout?

Let’s unravel, unfasten, become undone

Gas up on negatives and fill up on doubt


Who are we to think directions can change?

Flick on our signal and switch to a positive lane?

No, don’t say anything good or anything nice

Let’s speak bad things into existence and over our lives


Let’s forget about all of the simple things,

of which we’ve been given and blessed

And conveine only with other simpletons,

who revel in problems and stress


Matter face, why not just have a national convention?

Where every single hiccupped faced can be documented and mentioned

We could have a contest of misery

Team Woe is Me versus Team Dysfunctional Family Tree

We’d sit and trade stories, soaking in each other’s negativity


Place the big girl next to the skinny girl,

and let them battle out who’s worse off

Put employee A in a room and B in another

Switch managers and decide who has the worse boss


Man just laid off with that severance package

Let’s play trading places

With the homeless man who has no jacket,

and shoes but no shoe laces


Lady complaining your kids take up all your time

Go have a sit down with one who can’t conceive a child

Let’s tear each other down, saying we won’t make it

Camp beneath gray clouds, get comfortable and complacent




We could say things to build each other up

Know in our hearts things will work out for good

Manifest change and say later for luck

Test our faith and hope the way that we should


You see, I was in the captain’s seat

of Ship Destiny, but didn’t even know

‘Cause life’s storms kept testing me,

each time a gusty wind would blow

Thought it’d be the death of me,

but each time it wasn’t so

Then I came and rescued me,

And let my vessel flow

Positive people have a simple recipe

Ready? Here we go


Think positive

Be grateful

Say kind words


What you say starts with a thought before spoken and heard


Be mindful of what you listen to, what you watch and the company you keep

That thing called bad energy is a parasitic beast

Sucking your blood just as thirsty as a leech

Latching to others, spreading like a cancerous disease


Smile sometimes, who knows might cause a domino effect

And remember things are never really as bad as they could get

There is positive potential in each one of us. I don’t know anyone who knowingly wants to be negative. Even the most negative person most likely isn’t being negative on purpose, and though they may not admit it out loud, they really want to be a positive person deep down inside. In most cases, they probably don’t even realize that they’re a negative person. Below are five tips that helped me once I came to the realization I was a negative person and wanted to do something about it:

1.    Think before you speak: I mentioned this briefly in one of my earlier posts this month. The way you think is so important because everything starts with a thought, everything. Once I became aware of my negativity I started paying close attention to my thoughts. Any time any kind of negative thought would enter my mind, whether it be about someone or a situation or anything, I would immediately say a quick silent prayer in my head. I’d ask God to forgive me for the thought, to erase it, and replace it with something more positive. Nowadays everyone is obsessed with “keeping it real”. There’s a difference between keeping it real and keeping it negative. Not every thought that enters your mind needs to be vocalized, particularly if it’s negative. The next time you’re thinking about saying something out loud that you know might be negative ask yourself these questions: Is what I’m about to say going to help or hurt this person or situation? What is the benefit going to be of me saying this? Am I going to feel better about myself after saying this? Is it really necessary and is it going to change anything for the better? You know the saying: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

2.    Compliment someone: I promise it won’t hurt 🙂 . Giving a compliment costs nothing and takes nothing away from you. I’m not suggesting you be phony and start tossing out compliments left and right. But if you think someone did a good job on something at work or if you like the store clerk’s earrings, it’s okay to tell them. Giving compliments will put you in the practice of saying good or positive things. I guarantee it will make them feel good and putting a smile on their face will make you feel good that you did that. I’ve always been shy about talking to people I don’t know. In addition to making you and the other person feel good, I’ve found that giving a compliment serves as a great icebreaker as well.

3.    Get your share of sunlight: No, of course don’t fry out in the sun but get your daily dose of sunlight. Around 10-15 minutes daily is a start. It’s no coincidence that we start feeling happier and more energetic around the Spring and Summer months. Sunshine boosts our level of serotonin – our body’s natural “happy hormone”. So basically there’s just something about that sun of ours that just puts us in a better mood when we’re exposed to it. When you’re in a better mood, you’re more likely to be positive.

4.    Make a list: When negative things happen in your life, it’s easy to let it get to you and you begin to play hostess to that negative energy. You begin to think and say things to yourself and/or others like “I’m never gonna get ahead”, “I just can’t win”, “It’s always something”, “I’ll never find love”, “I might as well not even try”, etc. Don’t do it! Instead go make a list of and focus on all the positive things in your life. Don’t forget the things you may think are little too. Once you start writing that list you will realize just how fortunate you are and all that is right and good with your life. It serves as a reminder that things usually aren’t as bad as you think or as bad as they could be.

5.    Talk to yourself: I promise it’s okay to do this lol. Some people may not have those positive friends yet. They may come from a family full of negativity where it is constantly spoken and practiced. You may not have one single influence or reinforcement of positivity around you. This tip is for those people. This is when you must become your own cheerleader. In one of my other posts I spoke about speaking things into existence. This is part of that. Take a few times out of the week and just say positive things to yourself. It doesn’t matter what it is so long as it’s positive. It could be about your goals. It could be about your beauty. It could be about your health – whatever you think you need to speak positivity over. You can talk out loud or just talk in your mind. Some people need to hear the words spoken out loud. You can talk to yourself in the mirror or not. I am blessed to have positive people in my life but sometimes I need to speak it into myself still. So what I do is once a week for 30 minutes (usually on Sunday to start my week off right), I lay down. I put on some tranquil music. Sometimes I close my eyes to visualize what I’m speaking into existence, but sometimes I just stare at the ceiling. I don’t usually talk out loud but if it’s been one of those weeks where I’m struggling to stay positive, I do speak out loud. Then I just go in on positivity. This may sound weird to some who read this. To you I say don’t knock it til you try it 🙂 . Words have the power that you give them.


“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”

—   Mahatma Gandhi

“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”

Alphonse Karr

Last week I spoke about positive thinking and speaking. In my opinion those are the first steps to becoming a more positive you. However, those are not the only steps. You have to be careful of your surroundings and the things and people you let into your mind, space, and company. It’s more important than we think because negative energy can spread like disease.

A prime example of this is when you get a small group of women together and they start going in on what’s wrong with their body. “I’m too skinny.” “I’m too fat!” “My forehead is too big.” “My stomach is too chubby.” “My nose is too long.” And the insults go on. It only takes one person to start a pool of negative energy amongst a group and it will take off like wildfire as everyone begins to put themselves down. That conversation could easily turn into something positive if the discussion of shortcomings was replaced with a discussion of attributes instead. Why is it that women don’t get together and talk about all that is right about their body and the things they do like? It is because we are choosing negative over positive!

Have you ever met that person or had that friend that no matter what, they would always have something negative to say? You can’t get them to speak a positive word to save their life. It is up to us to make a conscious effort to distance ourselves from people like this. Friend or not, their constant negativity will have an impact on you. And if you find that people are distancing themselves from you, then you may be that negative person I’m talking about.

Before I made this move to the San Diego area, I was on the phone with an acquaintance. All she kept telling me was how much I was going to hate San Diego, how I wouldn’t find the type of apartment I was looking for, and how it would be worse than L.A. She was speaking nothing but negativity into me and over what I was trying to do in my life. I chose to counter her negativity by not allowing her words to penetrate me and I told her that I was keeping a positive mindset about everything. Well it turns out I love my new apartment and I’m starting to like San Diego even more than L.A. I have not talked to her since because I’ve chosen to only surround myself with positive people. Even people in your own family can be negative. All you have to do is not feed into any of it. Whenever I would start getting down or complaining about situations in my life, a friend of mine would simply say to me “Ok now tell me something good”. After hearing that from him so many times it forced me realize how negative I was being and made me shift my energy to something more positive. It’s also made me get into the habit of thinking before I say anything that might be negative because the fact is that saying something negative really doesn’t help anything. It’s like a waste of breath and energy. So now I do the same thing if I’m talking to someone who is going on and on with their negativity. I just say “Ok now tell me something good or positive”.

People aren’t the only issue either. Every song you listen to and every show you watch has an impact on you and sends off some type of energy to you. I remember one day I was trying to find something to watch on TV. I had gotten to the point where I stopped watching a lot of my usual shows because they had negative energies about them (especially all those reality shows). So I went through the entire guide of about 900+ channels and I couldn’t find one positive show to watch on TV. Now I know that TV is just for entertainment, but it’s important to pay attention to the type of energies you are entertaining. You may think that you can watch something strictly for entertainment and it won’t have an affect on you but even subconsciously it does. Have you ever heard a song on the radio that you couldn’t stand but they played it so much that it got stuck in your head anyway? It’s the same thing with TV. You can tell yourself it doesn’t have an impact but if you allow too much of that negative energy in from it, it will start to take form within you. Why not replace those negative energies you’re allowing into your brain that aren’t doing anything for you which you watch for “entertainment” purposes with something more positive and beneficial? You might watch these negative TV shows and walk away feeling entertained but that’s it. You haven’t walked away with anything you can use in your life or for your wellbeing.

Well I don’t want to leave sounding like some crazy energy fanatic. My point here is be careful of what you let into your brain/mind, who you converse with, and the things you choose to talk about. Negativity feeds off of itself, but so can positivity.

“Energy is everything”. I have a friend who is constantly telling me this, reminding me. I’ve also heard it other places as well. I’m not sure why this year in 2012 I have become extremely aware of its reality. Everything that is and everything we do, we put an energy behind it. Whether it be a nervous energy, timid energy, ignorant energy, or happy energy, it is energy nonetheless. Any of these energies as well as others can be placed under positive energy or negative energy, and we have a choice between the two.

So why not choose to be positive? Stop and think for a moment. What has being negative ever gotten you? Did it make you feel better about yourself? Did it make someone else feel good? Did it evoke positive responses or reactions from other people? Did it produce any good results that have bettered your life? My guess would be that it hasn’t. I know for me it didn’t.

Now let’s take a look at being positive for a moment. Have you ever run into one of those “glass half full” people? Maybe it was at the office or someone you know in your own family. That person that makes you say to yourself: “What the hell are they so damn happy about?” We don’t know. It could be something big, small, or nothing at all. Either way they have a happy disposition because they have chosen to be positive about life. I use to be a straight pessimist. In every situation I would immediately notice and fixate on the negatives. I’d always want to talk about what was wrong instead of what was right. I would allow the tiniest things get me down and bent out of shape. The more I did this, the more negative things would happen in my life. People wouldn’t know it but it had gotten to the point where negative things happening in my life became a regular occurrence and I began to accept and expect it. Because of that, I began to speak negatively since it seemed like nothing was ever going right for me. You see, negativity will feed off of your negative energy and thrive and dominate if you allow it to.

We have the power to speak and think things into existence and we don’t even know it. Fast forward to the present. This year, 2012, I have given being positive my every effort. I think it, speak it, and live it. It wasn’t easy at first because I had to break out of that negative mindset, that prison. And yes, sometimes negative thoughts do enter my mind and I am still faced with obstacles but because I’m more aware of it I am able to steer it away faster and easier now. Since doing this, I am seeing things changing rapidly in my life in a good way. Because I’m in the habit of putting out positive energy, nothing but positive results have been coming back to me. In the beginning it does take a conscious effort but like with anything else, with practice it becomes second nature. We are able to manifest what we think. Everything you see around you started with a thought. I won’t go too deep into that because it would take too much time to explain. My point is this: Everything starts with the way we think which effects the way we speak which effects the way we are. We can chose to think negatively, speak negatively, and be negative which will in turn invite negativity back into our realm or we can chose to think positively, speak positivity, and be positive. That will open the door to invite positivity and blessings back into our lives. We have more control over our lives and situations than we sometimes allow ourselves to think. It’s up to us to choose which end of the spectrum we will thrive in. The great news is that if we find ourselves on the negative end, it’s never too late to hit the reset button and start being a positive person in the now.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

– Henry Ford

So I haven’t been as attentive to my blog as I have in the past, but I wanted to finish out the year well. I racked my brain trying to figure out what to blog about for December and like I always do, I looked to what I heard people talking about and what I’ve been seeing a lot of. Everywhere I looked, from friends, some family, to TV, to Facebook, to the radio, I stumbled upon more of an energy than a topic. I have found an overwhelming amount of negativity. Hence the topic for this month will be positive versus negative.

Let me preface this month by telling you that I have not always been a positive person. I always considered myself more of a realist but in retrospect I was really just being pessimistic a lot of the time. It continues to be a daily challenge for me, especially when obstacles are constantly thrown my way, but I’m getting better at it. This month I want to dig into why there is so much negative energy in our lives, the benefits of consciously striving for positivity, and ways we can become more positive beings. I picked this topic to finish out the year in hopes that we might go into the New Year on a positive note. My want is to inspire at least one person to be more positive just as the positive people in my life have inspired me. Let’s start a chain reaction!

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.”

– Peace Pilgrim

“Being negative is simple. It is not a task that requires much. For some, it is as second nature as breathing.  But even your breathing pattern changes under different conditions as can your negative way of thinking.”

 – Just Jewel