5 Reasons Why I Dread Grocery Shopping

Posted: October 18, 2012 in Random Funnies
Tags: , , ,

Let me start off by saying I am so thankful that I am able to get up and go to the grocery store when I want and buy what I want. I know there are those less fortunate who cannot say the same. However, where some may look at it as an enjoyable experience, I view it as an inconvenient task. I try to only go into a grocery store once a month and I wait until my refrigerator is pretty much bare before I will go. Here’s why:

  1. The squeaky cart: I have no idea why of all the carts that are always lined up outside the store must I always always pick the malfunctioning one. Of course the malfunction never starts until I’m already inside the store and the automatic doors have closed behind me. Then it’s like do I go all the way back outside to switch carts or just deal with this one? No, because odds are I’ll just get another malfunctioning cart. So I am always that person either playing tug-a-war trying to get the cart to turn the way I need it to or the one everyone stops and looks at because they can hear me coming from three aisles down.
  2. Buying chicken: Yes, I can’t stand buying chicken. I enjoy eating it but don’t like buying it. I always buy the Perdue or Foster Farm chicken in the package. No matter how much plastic wrap is on the package, the chicken is always always slimy. Yuk! Sure, some stores have paper towels now but I don’t feel like it’s enough. So for the rest of the day, until I can get home to wash my hands, I have this sense of tiny bacteria just wiggling around on my hands having a field day.
  3. The hoverer: This person irks me. It seems like every time I go to the store I encounter at least one hoverer. This is that person when you’re standing in an aisle trying to decide which item you want off the shelf or whatever and out of the entire long aisle they feel the need to stop exactly where you are and hover behind you. For some reason they always think whatever it is they are looking for must be exactly where you are standing and you must be in the way. I like to stand there extra long and then move aside. I’ve found that 100% of the time they don’t even need anything out of that aisle. Usually this is an old person. I move, they look, and then they just leave the aisle. What is that about?
  4. Store maneuvering: I think this is probably the thing I like least about grocery shopping, especially in smaller grocery stores. I will never understand the people who drive to the grocery store and then once inside they forget how to drive. Pushing your cart really isn’t that different from driving a car. Would you just park in the middle of the street? No, so why do people always just stop and leave their carts in the middle of the aisle like that’s their personal driveway? I will never get that and it’s so annoying because now I’m forced to talk to you and ask you to move.
  5. The checkout line: A few things here. First, you have the cashier who automatically hates you because she hates her job and doesn’t want to be there. This isn’t always the case. A lot of times the cashiers are pleasant but there are definitely some who don’t want to be bothered. Then you got that person in front of you who either forgot something and holds up the line, or something they got rings up wrong so they have to go check the price, or their coupon didn’t work because they got the wrong size of whatever. There’s always something to prolong the checkout process.
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Comments
  1. I was one of those snarky cashiers that didn’t want to be there. I was 16 and missing out on fun. The job is serious boring, blah.

  2. Christina B. says:

    Hahahahah…these are what I like to call “First World” pains. Funny post, Jewel, even though I know you were serious about all of these things.

    I think I’d add “picking out what to wear” to the list. Every time I go shopping in my bum attire, I encounter a gorgeous man – EVERY SINGLE TIME. Then when I dress up, I feel stupid and overdone, and I don’t see any cuties. It’s a terrible ordeal!

    • Just Jewel says:

      LOL yes I was serious but the post was meant to be funny. Glad you got a laugh b/c after I went back and read it I thought maybe I just came off as a bitter shopper lol. I just go to the grocery store looking exactly how I feel, like I don’t wanna be there! I’ve heard a few ladies mention to me that they see cute guys at the store but I have yet to have that pleasure. I must be shopping at the wrong stores smh…

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