Posted: October 4, 2012 in Random Funnies
Tags: , , ,

Boogers…can’t live with them, can’t live without them. At least I don’t think you can…

It was a warm sunny Tuesday morning. I rented a U-Haul truck and was all ready to move to my new apartment. I still needed movers. So I headed on over to the nearest Home Depot where I knew the illegal day laborers would be waiting around for work. I love those guys by the way, they go hard and they inspire me (seriously but that’s another topic). I had been by a few days before just to scope out the situation and find where they hang out. So when Poncho, Martinez, and about twenty other amigos bum-rushed the truck, I wasn’t alarmed. I wish I could’ve hired all of them but I only needed two guys. As they all fired off questions to me and answers to questions I hadn’t even asked, I scanned the crowd trying to decide how I would pick my two guys from the massive crowd of hopefuls. My eyes landed on one of the guys I had spoken to days before when I swung by and there it was…

It hung and swung in the slight morning breeze. I tried to focus on the task at hand as I began asking him if he was available all day, etc., etc. but it was like it was calling out to me on behalf of him: “PICK MEEE! PICK MEE!” It was a white, slimy one and it rested just above his mustache as it hung on to one of the strands for dear life. Any sudden movements, and it would all be over. Part of me wanted it to fall so it would be out of my sight and I could stop focusing on it but the other part of me wanted it to stay right where it was, where I could keep my eyes on it, know where it was at all times, and not have to wonder where it might’ve fallen and on to what.

I’m sure we have all been in that situation at one point or another. Shoot, we’ve probably been on both sides of the situation lol. Don’t you hate it when you’re talking to someone and they’ve got a lil boogie hanging, especially when it’s one of those loose ones? You know the ones where if they breath o’ so slightly it could fly out in any direction. I know I’m extra for this but my temperature actually raises a little, my heart rate increases, and I find myself getting nervous and swallowing hard. Anything that person might be saying to me is going in one ear and out the other as the voice in my head screams: “DAMMIT! WHY MUST HE/SHE HAVE THAT BOOGER HANGING! GOD PLEEEEASE DON’T LET IT FALL OUT ON ME! PLEASE DON’T LET IT FALL OUT! JUST ACT NORMAL. STAY COOL AND NOD ALONG LIKE YOU’RE PAYING ATTENTION – AND STOP ZEROING IN ON THE BOOGER FOR GOODNESS SAKES!”

On the flipside, how about when you’re the one with the booger? I don’t know which one is worse. You know when you can feel it in your nose near the edge of your nostril but you’re not totally sure if it can be seen. I can’t stand being in that position either. I try to pick up signals from the other person’s body language to see if they’ve spotted it yet. I try to do the smooth “rub my hand past my nose quick and casually like I have an itch” move. That usually doesn’t work but I think it’s more of an attempt to sweep the booger back into hidden positioning until I can reach a tissue and a mirror. Or I’ll try the “hand over my mouth so that my finger is covering the nostril area like I’m thinking really hard” move. Or I all of a sudden get a bad case of the sniffles as I try to suck it back in with all my might.

Sure if it’s a friend you can tell them they have a booger or ask them if you’ve got one peeking out, but what about someone you don’t know like that? I know this was gross and random but I had to express my thoughts on this because that guy’s slimy ass booger has been dangling in my flashbacks since that day. All I’m saying is having boogers is tricky business man…

  1. darcwonn1906 says:

    LOL! All of that over a loose booger. It happens to the best of us.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s