Archive for July, 2012

Hey blog family! I thought now would be as good a time as any to interject with a random post since I finished out the month of July already. I’m not sure what the topic for August will be just yet (guess I should decide soon) but I wanted to let all my readers know I’ve taken another step on my road as an aspiring writer. Yup, there’s a new place where you can check out some of the things I have to say. Yes, I’ll still be posting here weekly but I am now proud to announce I’m writing for RnBmagazine.com. It’s a magazine that comes out every other month. It caters to music, love, life, and relationships for women, but I’m sure the guys will find it informative as well. Below I’ve listed links to some of the posts I’ve written so far but please go on over to the site to browse around and support. Thanks in advance!

“If I Ain’t Got You” – RnB Reminiscing

Things You Can Do to Keep the Spice in Your Relationship

Yesterday was Nelson Mandela B-Day

“What Would You Do?”

Right is wrong and wrong is right

No room for grey, it’s black and white

Morals bounced on a first class flight

Honesty left, caught the red eye overnight

So what would you do? Ahh the conscience’s plight

Bickery, trickery, charms and deceit

Mr. Wendal needs a dollar but you ain’t beat

Old lady hops on the bus, do you give up your seat?

Nah you stare straight ahead like you don’t see

What you would do is crystal clear to me

Peeping, sneaking, and creeping around

Saw what you shouldn’t but don’t make a sound

Pretend like you wouldn’t but you know you’d be down

To play hopscotch on the devil’s playground

Giving your word as bond but you ain’t bound

You take a yard when given an inch

Stealing a pound when offered a pinch

Not a second thought, not even a flinch

Helping yourself like a modern day Grinch

What wouldn’t you do to have that thirst quenched?

The mind flip-flops playing tricks

Better judgment walks and temptation sits

Good and evil reps go lick for lick

Nice guys finish last and take the hits

What will you do? Flush the Kool-Aid or take a sip?

People always claim to be so honest, but are we really? I’ve never had this particular situation happen to me, but it has happened in reverse. I was at Target and I mistakenly gave the cashier an extra twenty-dollar bill without even realizing it. She could have easily just given me my change and pocketed the extra money because I clearly wasn’t paying attention, but she didn’t. She handed the extra twenty back to me and I was grateful.

It got me to wondering though. What if roles were reversed? What if she had given me too much change back? Would I have told her or would I have kept the extra money? It’s an automatic that I would keep money that I find on the ground and the owner is long gone, but would I keep money that I know was mistakenly given to me?

The truth is I have no idea. Yes, I’d like to think I would be honest and give the money back. The reality is, though, that no one really knows what he/she would do in a given situation until they’re actually in it. My personal opinion (based on absolutely nothing but my thoughts lol) is that fifty percent of people would return the money and the other fifty percent would consider it their lucky day. What would you do?

If we had our choice, most of us would try to avoid being caught in sticky situations especially on the job. However, sometimes it just can’t be avoided. You may just be whipping up a little peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the break room or taking a trip to the lavatory and find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes people just put you in situations that, otherwise, you’d have absolutely nothing to do with. This has happened to me quite a few times at different jobs.

I want to focus on one particular incident though. Let me set the stage. I’m at work and a group of us are undergoing training, as we are all new hires. For this particular exercise we were working on, some of us were paired up with partners and some of us working alone. I was one of the loners (that’s nothing new lol). Directly in the cube in front of me is a pair of ladies working together. Now those of you who have worked in an office know how thin cubicle walls are. The sound barrier is non-existent. As a result I can hear everything they are saying to each other. Working together isn’t always easy. Working together with someone who knows everything is even more of a challenge. I could start to hear them get into a heated debate. Because they were so loud though it did sound like an outright argument. I could hear word for word what was being said. Lady A was clearly wrong and Lady B was correct. Long story short, they got so loud that the trainers had to run over and interject on the heated discussion. They presented their dilemma and the trainer confirmed that what Lady B was saying was correct. At this point Lady A then decides to change her whole story and flips the script saying that what had been confirmed as correct is what she was saying all along.

As if lying wasn’t bad enough, the story gets worse. Later that afternoon, Lady A, the trainer, another trainee, and me were sitting together in a room. Lady B and the rest of the group weren’t around. They all start to recap the heated discussion from earlier. I sit there quietly. Lady A still kept maintaining that she was correct the whole time by lying about what she had said and insisting that Lady B had said something other than what she really had. She took it a step further and said, “Well you know what I think it is with Lady B? She’s a little ghetto.” My eyes popped open and my jaw dropped. Not only was this unprofessional but I thought a little inappropriate given Lady B wasn’t even there to defend herself and we were all new to the company.

That’s when it happened. The trainer says to me, “Jewel, you were right next to them. I know you heard everything. What really happened?” Part of me felt so bad that Lady B was being thrown under the bus and her name slandered when she wasn’t even the one that was wrong. I wanted to defend her name in her absence. The other part of me wanted to stay free and clear of the drama and mind my business. I chose the latter responding, “My name is Bennett and I ain’t in it.”

So once again I ask: What would you do? Would you go to bat for your poor coworker or would you mind your business and allow another coworker to throw him/her under the bus right in front of you? Would it eat you up inside knowing only one side of the story (the false version at that) was being told or could you go about your day with a clear conscience knowing that work is work and you have nothing to do with the situation?

You’re moving along about your day minding your own business and what do you see? It’s your good friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend huddled up with someone other than your good friend. You move in to get a closer look and it is definitely who you think it is. Maybe they’re walking holding hands at a mall. Maybe you spot them in a dimly lit corner of a restaurant kissing over wine. Perhaps you eye them getting fresh on the subway. Even worse, maybe you spot them leaving a hotel together. What is your next move?

A few years ago a close friend and I were discussing the possibility of her then boyfriend cheating (he wasn’t though). I’m not sure how the conversation led up to it, but I told her that if I ever saw him out with another woman and things looked fishy I would not tell her. She didn’t get upset but she did scold me, saying that I’d better tell her. My reasoning behind this was that a lot of times females only hear what they want to hear and see what they want to see. Sometimes being in denial is more comfortable than facing the ugly truth. In addition, I know that men can sometimes be very manipulative (women too). Depending on the female, it’s easy for them to fill their head with a lot of garbage and they’ll eat up every word. When confronted with cheating based on confirmation from the third party friend, men are quick to say “Baby you know she’s just jealous and wants to break us up” or “You’re gonna believe your friend over me? Where is the trust?” or “Girl you know she’s just mad because she’s single. She’s just being nosey making up stuff because she has no life!” or simply “It wasn’t me. You’re friend is mistaken.” So it becomes his word against mine, his cheating against my so-called plot to break them up. I know it sounds ridiculous but nine times out of ten, a female will believe her boyfriend over her friend because she doesn’t want to face the harsh reality. I believe the truth always comes out in the end. So she’ll just have to find out another way on her own.

The other reason I said I wouldn’t tell her is because I don’t want to be labeled. Perhaps your good friend does believe you over her man. She decides to forgive him and “work it out”. Now, her boyfriend will always hate you. Every time he sees you, he will remember you as the snitch, the busy body, Ms. Nosey all up in their relationship. You are forever remembered as the friend who caused the riff in their relationship, even though that’s not the truth. Personally I could care less if someone dislikes me, but since this person is a close friend you are bound to be in the same room with her boyfriend again at some point(s). It’s just not worth the tension to me.

I know most females would jump at the chance to reveal a cheating boyfriend to their close friend. I wonder though, is loyalty the true motivation for that or something else? I understand that men have a code. So I wonder if men would tell their good friend given the same situation or just let it ride. So ladies/guys, I ask: What would you do?

Most of you have probably seen that show What Would You Do where ABC’s John Quinones sets up different moral scenarios to see how everyday people would respond when placed in the middle of those uncomfortable situations. My inspiration for this month’s topic is not from that show, however. It stems from a conversation I had with a friend years ago where I told her that if I saw her boyfriend out with another woman I would not tell her. I have my reasons for saying that and I will get into them in the next post.

Although I’m not really into psychology or anything, I do find human behavior extremely interesting and entertaining. It amazes me how the mass majority of people placed in the same exact situations will react the same exact way, almost as if programmed. People like to say “Well I just did what any other person would’ve done,” but does that mean it’s right? Do people think before they act in these situations or do they just automatically do what the majority of humans deem as “right” or “normal”? So this month I will be presenting a different scenario each week and asking “what would you do?” I’m very interested to see what people have to say on these…Stay tuned!