10 Reasons Why You Might Just be Single: Part II (6-10)

Posted: May 24, 2012 in Single Ladies
Tags: , , , , , , ,

This is a continuation of last week’s post. I had about twenty more but I had to make the cut off somewhere. 

6.   You’re the president of Clingy-ville:

This one happens to be one of my pet peeves. When the relationship is new and fresh, you want to spend every waking moment with the guy. You want to do everything together. Ladies, for goodness sakes give the man a little space! One of the most annoying things to a man is a clingy woman keeping tabs on him. If you call a man and leave a message, you’ve done enough. If he doesn’t return the call right away, he’s obviously busy or doesn’t wish to speak to you at the moment for whatever reason. Unless his cell phone goes straight to voicemail without ringing, you can be sure your number definitely came up on his phone. In case you didn’t know, cell phones have caller id. So yes, he knows it’s you. He has seen that you called. Especially if it’s a new guy, please have some dignity and don’t keep blowing up his phone. It’s plain ol’ pathetic and annoying. If he wants to talk to you, he’ll return your call when he gets the message. If he doesn’t, then that means he doesn’t want to talk to you. Possibly, he’s just not into you. If that’s the case, why would you want to talk to him anyway? The same thing goes for text messages. After you have sent the text for the third time, it is not necessary to send an additional text asking if he received the others. Chances are he did. If it’s your boyfriend, the same rules apply. They apply even more if you’re supposed to be having a girls’ night out or him a guys’ night out. Let him do just that! I can’t stand going out with friends and they spend the entire night calling and/or texting their boyfriends every hour on the hour to see what he’s doing. News flash! If he’s going to cheat, guess what? He’s going to cheat!

7.   You’re a walking “single” advertisement:

I can’t stand when that Beyoncé song comes on in the club, “Single Ladies”. The song isn’t that bad. It’s more so the reaction it causes amongst the ladies in the club that irks me. All the single women rush to the dance floor to do their best Beyoncé impersonations as though to say: “I am single! Hear me roar!” It’s almost like it’s every single woman’s way of letting all the cuties in the club know they’re available. Then there’s the woman who can’t wait to let a man know she’s single. At whatever social setting she’ll find any reason to work that fact into the conversation. Ladies, you don’t need to make a public service announcement to let a man know you’re single. If a man wants to know, trust me, he’ll just ask. If they don’t ask directly, they’ll try to ask indirectly. For example a man might ask: “Do you live with your boyfriend?” Now the anxious single lady can’t wait to say: “I don’t have a boyfriend!” Ladies, men enjoy a little mystery and a little chase. I’m not saying to play games, but don’t be so anxious and available. Instead of answering his question by saying you don’t have a boyfriend try just saying “no” and leave him wondering or answer his question with a question and a smile, “why do you ask?”

8.   You’re carrying unresolved baggage:

Most single women have experienced heartbreak at some point in their lives. Most of us have dealt with some lames and jerks that have done us wrong in some way, shape, or form. It hurts. It can make us angry and untrusting. If you’ve been done wrong more than once, the anger, hurt, and distrust can start to reside inside of us and become a part of us. That is why it is so important to deal with those issues. Do not, I repeat, do not start dating or get into a new relationship if you have not dealt with unresolved issues from your past experiences. You’ve heard this before: Don’t make all men pay for the mistakes of the man before. When you enter into dating before you’ve dealt with the issues, you’re entering with your guard up because you’re afraid of getting hurt again. This only stunts progress. You’re also leaving yourself wide open for those issues to dwell inside of you festering until the negativity boils over into the new relationship, spoiling it. Aside from that, the new guy does not want to keep hearing about how the last guy did you wrong. Yes, you want to have that conversation when the time is right to let him know what you’ve been through but after that…kill that noise. If you feel a need to keep singing the blues about how so and so did you wrong, you obviously have not dealt with your hurt or anger about it.

9.   You’re lame in the bedroom:

Before everyone gets up in arms about this one, I know and understand that it takes more than sex to keep a man. I also know sex is not the only reason why men cheat. However, knowing a thing or two about how to please your man definitely helps maintain a healthy relationship. I am in no way suggesting that you put out to get a man. I’m talking about once you’ve been with your guy for a while, and you feel like you’re okay with taking things to the next level. Through conversations I’ve had with women about what they do and don’t do with their guy, I’ve noticed that a lot of women are very vanilla in the bed. What I mean is they’re twenty something’s acting like sixty something’s in the bedroom. Ladies, basic missionary position ain’t cutting it these days. Don’t be lazy and boring. If you’ve never had sex with the lights on, I’m talking to you. If you’ve never danced for your man, I’m talking to you. If you’ve never been to one of those XXX stores with your guy, I’m talking to you. If doing it doggy style is your idea of spicing things up, ummm yeah you might want to look into this area of your life a little deeper. Everything is not for everyone. So of course you and your guy have to find your comfort levels. You also don’t want to use up your whole bag of tricks right away. But if you’re trying to make it last for the long haul, you must get creative and innovative in the bedroom. Keep things new and exciting so the novelty of your love making never wears off.

10. You are a gold digger:

We all know what that is. You are so concerned about what a man has financially because you are hoping to partake in some of those assets. There is nothing wrong with wanting a financially responsible partner. There is something wrong when you’re wondering what kind of car he drives before you’re wondering if he’s ever been in jail. You’re asking about his salary before you ask why he does what he does for a living. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the finer things in life. There is something wrong, in my opinion, when you enter a relationship expecting the man to sponsor all your shopping sprees. If he volunteers to do so out of the kindness of his heart, that’s a different story. What gives you the right to think you’re entitled to spend the money he has went out and worked for? Men can usually sniff out a gold digger a mile away and it is a turn off! There are a few men balling out who don’t mind gold diggers, but do you really want to be bought???

  1. You have a very nice looking blog – I’m very impressed with your technical knowledge. Like your content too. Looking forward to following you

  2. soccernorsk says:

    Hi, thanks for peeking into my world…of note, your #6 public clinginess seems to be a very typical Chinese woman’s behavior while dating. At least it seems like it is clinginess and whining/manipulation to my Western mind. maybe it communicates something entirely different in a different cultural mindset.

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