Miss Overly Independent

Posted: May 10, 2012 in Single Ladies
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m sitting here thinking of all the reasons why women are so independent, and I’ve come up with two types of independent women. There is the one who is independent by choice and the one who has had no choice but to be independent. The woman who is by choice likes the feeling of independence, not having to ask or depend on anyone for anything, and may possibly be a little prideful. The other one has no one to turn to for help. Maybe she doesn’t have a lot of family. Maybe a specific situation has forced her into independence (i.e. divorce, death of a parent or significant other, growing up in the foster system).

We live in a world now where a woman really doesn’t need a man for anything. Forgotten is the day where the woman sits at home waiting for the man to bring home the bacon. She’s out making her own money. Because of that, she can now buy her own house, car, food, clothes, etc. Beyond creating her own financial stability, the independent woman knows how to be handy now too. She can do an oil change, fix stuff around the house, assemble furniture, and more. She can do the same things that a man can do, including making a baby. She doesn’t even need a man for sperm anymore. She can just mosey on down to the sperm bank for that. The last thing is sex. Well now there are so many nifty naughty toys that a woman can have more fun giving herself an orgasm rather than holding her breath waiting for the day when a man will give her a real one.

But guess what Miss Overly Independent. Your toys won’t talk back to you. At least I don’t think those exist yet lol (maybe I’ll have to invent that). All your piles of cash won’t hug you back. What I’m saying is there is nothing like the real thing, an actual man to share your life with. We have become so caught up in the “I can do it myself” era that we forget to let a man be a man when we date. I say “we” because I am guilty, guilty, guilty of this :). A man takes me out to dinner, and I always try to go dutch. Why? Because I need to let him know I don’t need him to buy me a meal. If he insists on paying, I always try to pay for the next dinner. I feel like I just have to even the score. I don’t like feeling like I owe anybody anything. Crazy right? I had a flat tire a couple weeks ago and I stopped at the gas station to put air in. A gentleman offered to help and before he could even get the words out good, I was telling him no thank you. The other day I was hanging out with a male friend of mine. When we got ready to leave my place I got the trash ready to go out. He tried to carry it for me but I insisted I could do it because it was light. He called me out on my overly independence (he always does) and he was right. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to take out the trash. I just thought in my head “I can do this myself. It’s not heavy”.

Ladies, a man needs to feel like a man. He needs to feel needed. This is not my opinion either. This has been directly communicated to me by men, straight from their mouths. Please believe, I am not one for stroking the male ego but when a man doesn’t feel like a man, he doesn’t feel like there’s a place for him in the relationship. The overly independent woman can end up making him feel like “Well shit she got all bases covered. Then what the hell am I here for?” I hear a lot of single women telling other single women “Oh girl he’s just intimidated by you because you’re independent.” WRONG! A real man can appreciate a woman doing her thing on her own but he is just plain ol’ turned off by the overly independent woman. I would never suggest dumbing yourself down or playing the damsel in distress, but it’s okay to let your softer side out and let a man do some things for you. No man wants to date himself ;).

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