Single Ladies, Stop Thinking Every Man you Meet is “The One”

Posted: May 3, 2012 in Single Ladies
Tags: , , , , , , ,

We all want that special someone to settle down with. That someone who gives us butterflies on sight, who knows exactly what to say to put a smile on your face, who kisses us like we’ve never been kissed before, who listens to our stories no matter how long, who comforts us when we’re scared, who understands us and accepts us as is, with whom the passion is undeniable, who we connect with on all levels – what woman doesn’t want this?

However, some single women want it so badly that they’re on the prowl. They’re looking around every corner for him. Every time they head out to a social function, they’re secretly hoping to find him. First, I’d like to say that I’m a firm believer that when you’re not searching that’s when someone comes along. Second, I’d like to point out that men can usually sense your eagerness through your actions. That’s not a good thing for you, single lady.

There’s nothing wrong with letting a man know what you want in life and in a relationship, but there’s a time and way to do that. An associate of mine told me a story about a mutual friend of ours and how this mutual friend would ask a man his credit score on the first date because she wanted to know how responsible he was with his money. She couldn’t be with a man that had bad credit. I mean I understand not wanting to get too involved with someone financially irresponsible, but you ask this on the first date? I mean you don’t even know each other yet or how much you like him or if he even likes you. I remember when I first started dating my ex. We had only been on two or three dates, and a coworker asked me how things were going. I told her it was going cool and she said to me “Oooh maybe yal will get married!” I was thinking in my head “what the f*ck?” We had only been on a few dates. Marrying that man was the furthest thing from my mind. I wasn’t even sure if I was feeling him yet!

I have seen women in action with my own eyes go out to a bar or wherever and a man starts to hit on them or try to talk to them. Within the first ten minutes I’m hearing the woman ask the man if he’s looking for a relationship or trying to put a ring on her finger. That’s just ridiculous. I understand cutting to the chase, but come on. The killer for me is when I heard a single woman telling me about a guy she had just started dating. She ran down his entire list of possessions: good job, two houses, two cars, and no kids. Based off of this she had decided that he was a good contender to settle down with in the future. Never mind getting to know him, finding out if he can make you laugh, seeing if he’s abusive, seeing if you both like doing the same things, none of that.

What is the point I’m trying to get to? Single ladies, stop acting so damn thirsty! Get to know a dude first before you size him up as marriage material. If you’re going on a date, treat it as such! Stop going on the date with your mental checklist evaluating in your head if he’s the one or not. Just enjoy the damn date and let things flow naturally. Don’t even look at is as he could end up being the one. Just look at it as a night out to have fun and converse with someone new. If it grows into something more, great. If not, no harm done. Also, never underestimate the power of self-evaluation. While you’re so busy hoping he’s the one, you may want to take a moment and make sure you have all your stuff together. I’m not talking about financially either. I mean mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. You may not be the marriage material you think you are just yet either.

“The person that screams ‘Single,’ is usually the person that would do anything to be in a relationship.”

– Unknown Author

  1. . says:

    Good post….so true

  2. Great post jewel. Sometimes as we get older we forget to just have fun dating and relax and enjoy each other’s company.

    • True indeed. There’s so much pressure from the outside and sometimes ourselves to hurry and settle down, we do forget to enjoy the actual experience of dating. Thanks for reading!

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