Archive for April, 2012

I am going to try to keep it light for this post. I actually like makeup on some people – when it’s done nicely. So what’s my beef with makeup? Well I really only see a problem with it when it’s overdone or worn too often. In my opinion there is really no reason to wear makeup every day. For a person to wear makeup every single day, they must really be unhappy with their natural face. No? Then why else would one wear it every day?

Women typically start wearing makeup in their teen years or a little after. It’s fun and there’s a lot to experiment with when you first start out. What no one tells you is that when you begin to wear makeup every single day, it starts to take a serious toll on your face. It gets in your pores. It gets to the point where you have to wear it every day because it wrecks your face to the point that you begin to look old and haggard without it. I remember a co-worker of mine who would wear a gang of makeup every day. At the time she was around 28 years old. I’ll never forget the day she came to work without her “face” put on because she was running late. Well…no exaggeration, when I walked in and saw her I literally jumped back. For real. She looked like a totally different person without the makeup. Her skin was bad. Her eyes had black circles and bags around them. She looked more like 48 than 28.

Now I am specifically talking to the black women. When your face is five shades lighter than your neck because you picked the wrong foundation or because you intentionally wanted to look lighter, that is a not a good look.  If you’re brown skin or darker and your cheeks are fire engine red, that’s not a good look. They call it blush for a reason. As far as I have ever seen, you usually can’t see when a brown skin or dark skin person blushes in the first place. If your hair is black and you have drawn on light brown eyebrows, that is not a good look. You are the only person who thinks that looks natural. If you’re still drawing on that little black mole near your mouth, that is not a good look. We left the early nineties a long time ago. Come join us in the twenty-first century please. There’s nothing wrong with a little subtle makeup to switch up your look or dress up an outfit. However, there is no reason to cake it on. Remember, less is more.

Black women, we love to complain about how we can’t find a real man. Well what the heck do you think they are saying about us? At least we can say they at least look real lol! These guys meet us out somewhere all “made up”. Then when you eventually make it home together, you’re taking out the fake hair, taking off the fake eyelashes, plucking out the fake color contacts, and washing off your fake, colorful face. They don’t know who the hell they brought home now. Poor guys… Someone recently told me you attract what you put out. Well if you’re putting out all of this fake shit what do you expect to get back? Think about it…

The year is 2012 and I can’t believe black women are still scared to death of their own nappy hair. “I wanna lock my hair but I’m scared” or “Ooooh girl I gotta get a touch up! My hair is lookin’ all nappy!” or “Yeah girl I’m bout to get that premium Indian hair weave. That’s good hair right there!” It’s sad, but it’s gotten to the point for me where it’s actually hilarious.

A lot of us have caught the message that it’s ok to leave our hair in the original state our creator designed it in. Unfortunately, the masses have not caught on. We would rather put chemicals in our hair and melt it down so it’s straight because that’s the closest we’ll ever get to “good hair”. We would rather sew in and glue in fake hair, damaging our real hair.

Like I’ve mentioned before, I have dabbled in weaves before. I’m definitely no stranger to wigs either. I did this simply because I liked to change my look and try different things. It was never because I didn’t love my own hair. To be honest, I felt like I looked ridiculous every time I got a weave though. Two different hair textures, sometimes two different colors too. I would look in the mirror and I wasn’t even buying my own front. To make it worse, the sew-in weave just robbed my edges and never brought them back.

We want so badly to make our hair look like any other race other than our own. Of course this stems from years and years of being brainwashed during slavery where we were stripped from our roots and taught self-hatred. Slavery ended a long time ago, but not in our minds I guess. I think it’s about that time…

I remember when I first got to California I had a hard time finding a good loctician to twist my hair. I told this black lady I know I might just have to cut my locs. Her face scrunched up and her eyes popped out of her head as she asked “what are you gonna do wear like a lil fro or something?” I told her possibly and she seemed absolutely horrified by the thought. I wanted to bust out laughing at her facial expression. It’s funny to me that the thought of me wearing my hair in its natural state could scare someone so much. So many black women are afraid to wear their natural hair in its natural state. Yet they’re not afraid to put harmful chemicals in their hair that burn, can make their hair fall out, and sometimes even turn their hair to colors they didn’t intend to. In my opinion, that’s scarier!

What I also find funny and embarrassing at the same time is how ridiculous a lot of these weaves look. I saw a lady the other day that was fresh out of the salon. Her weave really looked like someone cut a mop and placed it on top of her head. Lace fronts are a joke in themselves. The little piece in the front raises up and everyone knows that’s not your hair. We continuously keep the hair industry in business spending anywhere from hundreds to thousands on one weave. That’s just silly.

I have nothing against any race, but have you ever seen one of those white boys from the suburbs that want so badly to be “down”? They listened to one Tupac or NWA CD and immediately ran out and bought their “urban gear” starter kit. They start using Ebonics and such. Black people may look at them and laugh. Back in the day they would call them “wiggers”. Well…how do you think the other races are looking at us tying, sewing, and gluing this mess in our hair trying to look like them? Black women, the joke is on us and it’s really not funny…

Lil Kim got all the black girls shouting from the rooftops that they’re the Black Barbie. Now, I like Lil Kim and I like Barbie. I also understand being like Barbie is more than just the features and figure. It’s the whole fashion sense, glamour, and overall “flyness”. I get it.

However, I can’t get on board with all this craziness that women are doing to themselves. Getting nose jobs to slim down wide noses, cheekbone lifts for what I’ll never know, butt implants like black women really need those, tummy tucks, eyelid surgeries to give us that “Asian look”, etc.

I just don’t get it. Are we really that repulsed by our own African features and figures? I know a lot of people might argue that if it makes the person feel better about themselves then what is the problem. Well that is the problem right there! We shouldn’t have to reconstruct our faces to feel good about ourselves. We should be able to look in the mirror and appreciate our beauty as is instead of looking at other races trying to mock their beauty. The original Barbie was white. News flash! No matter how much plastic surgery we get, we will never look like her.

To make it worse, we don’t seem to realize just how ridiculous we end up looking. I think most would agree that Lil Kim looked a heck of a lot better in the pre-surgery days. I can say the same for a lot of other black celebrities but I’m not about putting people down. My logic just won’t allow me to understand why someone would risk their lives having surgeries done that make them look worse than they already looked.

Have we forgotten that Barbie is not real? How can we base our looks on a synthetic toy that was created for child’s play? If I liked Barney as a kid, I guess I should go alter my face and body to look like a big ass purple dinosaur with spots on it. We all know black don’t crack but guess what? Plastic can crack…

So April has arrived! Time for a new topic of the month yay :)! Now what do I mean by “looks” like a black woman? Where o’ where do I start? Well there are many inspirations behind this month’s topic. To be straight forward, I am surprised, saddened, and even a little disappointed at the way black women are transforming themselves and the way we are portraying ourselves on TV today.

Now, I am all for switching up your look from time to time. I, myself, have dabbled in weaves and worn my share of wigs. I even wear a little makeup from time to time. Who knew :o! However, I think there’s a problem when a woman has done soooo much to her natural look that you can’t even tell what the hell you’re looking at anymore. Ridiculous weaves that only she thinks are passable, layers of caked on makeup, skin bleach, fake eyes, fake eyelashes, fake eyebrows, fake nails, and don’t get me started on plastic surgery. All I see is fake everything everywhere I turn.

Now, I want it to be crystal clear that my intent is not to hate. I just happen to love myself in my natural and I just want other women to love themselves the same. So I apologize in advance if I become overly passionate, but I have a lot of strong feelings about this topic.

I am not talking to the cosmetologist whose trade and/or passion is transformation. I understand that is an art. I am talking to the women who make these alterations to themselves because they are unhappy with their natural skin color, their natural hair length and texture, their natural eye color, etc. I am talking to the women who associate less than straight hair, less than white skin, less than perfect bodies with all things derogatory. I am talking to the women who go through these extremes of overkill because they are trying to be anything other than what they were born as…BLACK!

Being a real woman is an art mostly pleasant, but demanding some skills and knowledge. As we all know, there are no unbeautiful women, there are women who don’t know that they’re beautiful. 

 – Unknown quote