Are you Taking your Parents for Granted?

Posted: March 3, 2012 in Parental Relationships
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

So we don’t get to pick them. Sometimes they get on our nerves. Sometimes they mind our business. Sometimes we plain just wish they’d shut the hell up. Yes, parents are who I’m talking about! Some say they can’t live with them, but can we really live without them? Just take a second and think about it.

Instead of focusing so much on how they should be more of this or less of that, have we taken the time to understand why they may be the way they are? People in general don’t turn out to be who they are by accident. There are reasons, factors, and events that help shape each one of us into who we are. Get to know your parents. I’m not talking about getting to know them as your parents, rather as just another person.

I am not talking about those with parents who have abused, neglected, or abandoned their children.  Although, I’m sure they too have reasons why they chose those routes. I’m talking about those of us who were blessed to be provided for and raised by our parents. I don’t have any children, but I imagine it is not an easy job raising kids. Some of us have no idea what types of obstacles our parents have had to face and overcome to raise us, especially single parents.

We don’t know because our parents have tried to protect us from some of the world’s ugly truths as long as they could. We don’t always see it at the time, but they try to keep us from making the same mistakes they did. If you are one of multiple children, then your parent(s)’ journey was probably even more challenging. Not only have they tried to care, provide for, protect, and love us, but parents with more than one child have had to do all of this while dealing with multiple personalities. If they were dealing with daughters, then those multiple personalities were multiplied even more (lol). Not to mention, I’m sure they had their own issues to deal with while still trying to maintain a household.

Lately I have heard from quite a few adults that they don’t even talk to their parents too often, let alone see or visit them. I have heard statements such as “I don’t have anything to say to my dad” or “I can’t talk to my mom too long because she starts getting on my nerves and I have to hang up on her”.  I think it’s hard for us to understand that even though we may be adults now, it’s hard for parents to just stop being parents to us. On the other hand, I’m also hearing “If my mom was still alive, we’d be doing…” and “I’m not doing anything for the holiday. Usually I would go to my mom’s but this is my first year without her here”.

What is my point here? As adults, we get so wrapped up in our own lives. Sometimes we need a reminder of who really loves us and who really has our back when sh*t hits the fan. If you have a close relationship with your parent(s), congratulations you’re ahead of the game! Maintain it! If you don’t have one already, develop a closer relationship with your parent(s) before it’s too late. I don’t care if you have to go to a therapist or pastor to make it happen. Just do it while you are both still able. They took eighteen years (in most cases more) out of their lives to raise you. You can take eighteen minutes out of your week to have a conversation with them.

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Comments
  1. Anonymous says:

    Wow…..that really seriously brought tears to my eyes, if every child could read this, no matter how old, just stop and hear what is being said here, a parent NEVER stops being a parent, i love mine for it and yes she gets on my nerves, i simply remember i have 2 kids and i get on their nerves! it puts it all in perspective……….thanks

  2. Anonymous says:

    So true, so true. Like so many things and people, some of us don’t always take the time to appreciate, understand, or cherish parents while they’re here with us. You’ve heard it many, many times. “What I wouldn’t give to see my dad’s (or Mom’s) face, hear his (or her) voice again. Whether it be words of encouragement or him (or her) bellowing chastisement.”

    I do feel soooo blessed to still have a close relationship with my mom (as well as my children) 🙂

    Being a parent myself, I really appreciate this month’s topic. Keep up the great work JuJu.

  3. Anonymous says:

    WOW!!!!! i really enjoyed this piece . I never really look @ it form this angle. i kind of just expect them to be there. especially when i pin up to call,but never really thought about that day there was no response on the other end. Not even a voicemail to leave a message. Thanks…. GRIND over MATTER…..

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